Reviewed By: hopefully helpful On: August 10, 2005 13:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
You're writing style is nice and the details you give provide good imagery but you might want to map out some of the emotions a little more. I know in every chapter you want certain things to get done but I think knowing how the characters really felt to this new person with them would make the story deeper. Like Sango for instance, she's probably really sad she never took her change and Miroku found someone. People tend to not like orignial characters in stories usually (myself included) because it changes so much and sometimes are shallow author insertions. But I wanted to review you and say this is one of the only stories with an original character in it that I have liked, and just give you a bit of encouragement if I could. So ya, nice diction, but maybe include more in depth emotions and focus on the new character less. Good so far though. :]
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