| "Marketing: Romance" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: Starilight_Hotaru [MediaMiner Member] On: August 02, 2004 14:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Pretty good... Sounds Like my frist job. This story is great, u r gonna update it right?
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Reviewed By: Precious [MediaMiner Member] On: June 12, 2004 03:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
I am willing to follow this story to see what you do with it. I liked the characters chemistry. The work setting for the most part is realistic. I really loved the way Miroku described Sango: "It was as if heaven and hell had made a truce, combined he best in them and this fiery ice sculpture had been born." That was beauitful. And you made the backgrounds of everyone clear or for now seeing as the story isn't that far. I'm wondering if Kagura will play a bigger role in this story. I see you even to sneak Shippo in. I would ask about how the hair color matches up but knowing the person you made Kikyo to be I wouldn't be surprised if InuYasha already knew that wasn't real his son but when you are married any children born are considered yours. The thoughts were good because it shows us more about their story. Now to the things I didn't like. First off it was hard to read. I know MM messes up all the time but dialoge/thoughts should be seperate. And I think you are holding back. Your writing style is rough but it could be smoothed and improved with confidence and experience. You should consider making the chapters a bit longer and being more in depth with the events in the story. So when the person is reading they can literally imagine it in their mind. If your work improves after a few chapters I will continue to read if not I will state why I have discontinued. Good luck on the next chapter.
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Reviewed By: BirkysSpy On: June 09, 2004 17:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this story. I hope you write more. I like the idea so far. Can't wait to read more.
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