Reviewed By: Satans Widdle Hellper [MediaMiner Member] On: July 15, 2004 17:46 CDT Comment/Review: Not to be mean but you or you two need to SERIOUSLY rethink this entire fic. It doesn't make any sense, the POV's are constantly changing, bad spelling and grammar and frankly, this reminds of the stuff I used to write in second grade. You need a plot...you need to pick a person (first, second third, etc) and stick with it. If you're gonna go with POV, pick one person's POV and stick with it. Maybe explain how Tai and Yuka are saiya-jins and demons...also pick one or the other. This is coming WAAAAY too close to Mary Sue-ism. Revise and repost.
|