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"Sin,Broken Humanity" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ]
 Reviewed By: Taio [MediaMiner Member]  On: February 14, 2006 10:32 CST
Comment/Review:
Yo... this story is... well... short. It could be a great story. I like it, but the whole thing is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay short. I read it in like 2 minutes. Even the point of the story was short (I don't think that's a good thing). My advice is to keep this and work with it... you could make a Darkstalkers masterpiece! Oh and I'm glad I'm not the only one that's in love with Lilith! ^_^
 Reviewed By: Animus Seed  On: August 17, 2004 18:18 CDT
Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10
Comment/Review:
Well, here I am. I have to say, it could be a lot better. It's not bad, it just feels like the entire thing is an extended summarry. Example, the characters only state what their goals are, and nothing is ever made clear to the reader. Chapter 1 is actually a strong prologue, but it rockets ahead to a vague fight scene against a villain we don't really care about without allowing the heroes to develop first, then on to the sex scene (which almost feels like it was the enitre point.) Hold onto this, try and expand on it.

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