|
| "The Sent" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: jewelthiefgirl On: April 29, 2005 22:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'd like to start off by saying that this is an interesting concept, and an interesting pairing. Remy/Logan is really something special, but it is not easily pulled off because both men are so very, I don't know, they just are men who seem gay at all. That is not to say that it can't be done, because it can. Sadly, you did not pull this off. You wanted to make it Remy/Logan but you didn't know how, so you just changed their personalities to make it work. For instance, Remy became very feminite, and I don't even know what to say about Logan. It would have been better if the relationship had a transition, like one of them BECAME gay over time. Also, Rogue changed completely. Rogue is not a total bitch, and I know she would not be against gays, because in the comics she wasn't- at all. There were a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but the worst is that you mispelled the title. Also, your Original Character, Jamie, is what we call a Gary-Stue, or a male perfect character. You should rework him till he becomes believable. Original Characters are a lot of work, and it takes practice to make them round. They need faults. And, in your case, ONE power with faults. All powerfullness is bad, thank you. I hope I haven't upset you too bad, I'm only trying to help. You have a lot of talent writing-wise, I can tell by reading this fic. You have some real potential. You just need patience. -Mai
| Reviewed By: Pyro_Kitty [MediaMiner Member] On: April 29, 2005 22:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok I just weant to point out a few things. First off it isn't Rouge..its Rogue. Second. I highly doubt Remy would ever act like you had him. I guess it's just me but I think all of those character are way off on personality. Wolvie is more gruff, and it just wasn't very good. You even had Professor Xavier wrong and Rogue was totally NOT herself. If your going to write a story like this you gotta still get the personalities right. I mean Remy is this handsome suave guy and I don't think he would be one to just come out and ask "Is he single" he's a flirt, he would check him out himself and charm the guy. Oh and cor the title I think you meant Scent, not Sent. You used it in the way of "I sent you mail" and I think you meant Scent, as in "I can smell your scent from here" Well I hope you didn't find this rude, but I thought I would voice my opinion.
| Reviewed By: Diayma LeBeau On: November 02, 2004 13:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love the plot so far. I love how you write Remy's personality and I like the way you wrote Logan. I can't wait for more!!
|
|
|
