| "Naruto: Return" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] |
Reviewed By: spiritwolf30 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 09, 2006 23:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Ok the question is why do you have Naruto using Sasuke`s attack what I mean is Sasuke uses the Chidori Naruto`s attack is Rasengan other than that I guess the story was ok I just hope you have Naruto hooking up with Kagome thats if you don`t go back and keep calling her Kaede oh well I hope you update soon and not months or even a year from now JUST UPDATE the story
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Reviewed By: spiritwolf30 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 09, 2006 20:49 CST
Comment/Review:
Well the story is ok the spelling is of other than that the stoy is ok but for chapter 13 I thought you made a mistake by saying Kaede instead of Kagome but you keep on saying Kaede over and over agan I was like I thought it was Kagome not Kaede oh well I just hope chapter 14 on it says Kagome I hope oh well time to go and read more
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Reviewed By: Vash_The_Stampede3000 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2006 04:40 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Im am very suprised the way this story is unfolding with all this world jumping and stuff but it is one of the best stories i have ever read and i am wondering what will happen with vash and naruto because as you can tell by name i am a huge fan.....so update!!!!
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Title: its true
Reviewed By: twilight_screwup On: June 18, 2005 23:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
dam..i hate it when i put the scrunched up face..its always cuts it off there!dam...kk...try not to put that face on...o.0 as i said in my last to reviews...^^;it was fun imaginin kakashi and jaraiya as dead people and update please!
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Title: twy
Reviewed By: me again On: June 18, 2005 23:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
sry that last review cut off>.
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Title: not logged in >.
Reviewed By: Twilight_Aura On: June 18, 2005 23:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
nice update^^but i think u might need to revise it a little like i think in some spots u got the names mixed up>.
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Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Broken Visage [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2005 19:43 CST
Comment/Review:
Firstly, you start in present tense and then start switching back between present and past. It can be confusing and you should stick to a single tense throughout the whole of the work. It doesn't have to be past (though past is recommended) but there should only be one tense. You also have a good number of missing commas, such as after "earlier today" in the third paragraph and when you use more than one adjective to describe a noun. Another thing I noticed is your abundance of adverbs after "said" or "asked" and other related verbs. You don't need the adverbs and should cut down the number. Some are good, but "he said" can stand completely on its own. Might I also suggest that you put a space in between paragraphs? The way it is now, there are no indents and no double spacing for paragraphs. There should be one or the other and when it's online, you should separate paragraphs by a blank line. It makes reading easier, especially on those of us with poorer eyesight. The storyline is rather well thought out, it seems, but I don't know if characters are IC since I'm not familiar with the anime involved. Dialogue seems thought out well enough. You really must work on grammar, though. It'd increase the enjoyment factor quite a bit; bad grammar is frequently distracting. Thank you for submitting to FFARG, tell your friends.
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Reviewed By: akuma_river [MediaMiner Member] On: February 18, 2005 00:08 CST
Comment/Review:
coolsa.
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Title: twilight aura
Reviewed By: its me twi! On: January 09, 2005 11:04 CST
Comment/Review:
hey! this is really gettin gewd! to bad youll take the longest break:'(oh well cant wait for the next chappy though!!!!(vash has turned evil...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!)
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Reviewed By: akuma_river [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2005 03:23 CST
Comment/Review:
coolsa.
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Reviewed By: twilight aura [MediaMiner Member] On: December 12, 2004 19:14 CST
Comment/Review:
wow!poor woolfwood::cries::and kouru! not to mention sonosuke!uch a sad chappy! oh well...please update!
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Reviewed By: twilight aura [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2004 22:18 CST
Comment/Review:
thanks for the fixing!^^wonderful chapter (aww how i luv vash!^^)
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Reviewed By: twilight aura [MediaMiner Member] On: December 11, 2004 19:12 CST
Comment/Review:
hey! that last chapter was hard to read and i was really confused. sry.but please update!^^
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Reviewed By: Chief316 On: August 07, 2004 15:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
Lee is his first name, Rock is his last, since in Japan the surname comes first, like Uzumaki Naruto, Maito Gai, or Hatake Kakashi.
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Reviewed By: Tsukiyo_Kitsune_tears [MediaMiner Member] On: August 02, 2004 13:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
OHHHHHHHHH, nice story!!!! i have only heard of Naruto once or twice, and used to read it in shonen jump occasionally, but this this is great!!!!update soon!^__~
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