| "Falling with Lance in hand" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: Dark Lord Tokunaga [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2006 15:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
Keep it up.... your fic is interisting it is very orignal but...... please update and dont let it die..... i'll keep R&Ring if i'm not too swamped with work so please keep this fic alive unlike some authors i wont mention....
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Title: Good start.
Reviewed By: Pahhur [MediaMiner Member] On: August 16, 2004 23:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'll give you a bit of advice. First you need to make this thing longer. Second you need to build up the relationship between Lance and Florina. You may have been planning on doing this but I'm just telling you what I saw wroung. Also don't skip a space between each line. It makes the flow choppy and lowers the momentum. I think this is a good idea. Just get a few people to help you edit it and add some more sceanes to make the reader fell the love between the two. Also some incerts from Eliwood's story would make the fic more enjoyable. Add in some of the other charicters and this could become really good.
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Reviewed By: Shisou Ikari On: August 06, 2004 22:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey, not bad. There's very little in the way of Fire Emblem stories anyway but yours is pretty good. I'd rather like to see pretty much any Fire Emblem story that's not a crossover or male/male. Keep going.
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