Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Rini Saiyan-jin [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2005 02:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'll get down on the critisms... praise later ^_~ Italics are from your story: With the evolution of chemical fertalizers, (it's fertilizers, use your spell check, and that goes for the rest of the chapter) They feasted on humans for the water the … (for the water THAT contained) ....If only they could have been more patient,then we wouldn't be in this mess. But thats (use apostrophes, I think you should find a beta) (Should focus on breaking up paragraphs whenever a new person speaks or when a person speaks in a middle of the paragraph. And learn to space between quotation marks before and after the dialogue)Jacob entered through the hole into a gray hallway,intruiged slightly (You need to space after commas and for other places too) I really suggest that you do get a beta because this story has great potentional. I love the unique idea of having chia pets taking over. And I like how you told the story so far, it's just the grammar and the spelling bringing the story down. I don't think you should compromise your storytelling skills with your grammar and spelling. Again, find a beta that can help you to make this a better story than it is right now. :)
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