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| "Excidium Argenti" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: November 19, 2004 17:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Let me preface this with the disclaimer, I haven't seen Sailor Moon, so for originality/creativity, I left it blank... because of that. I read through your fic, and I wanted to let you know, regardless of having not seen the anime, I enjoyed your fic. I loved your word flow, your use of more aesthetic terms that speak not only to the mind but to the emotions, as well. On this level, I think that it was a well-detailed fic. Normally inserted a/n bug me... but i did appreciate and like how you inobtrusively added them into yours. THAT was great. I applaud the fact that you so obviously care about the content and quality of your work, it shows in spades, and while I cannot say that I knew the characters, I can say that I still enjoyed your fic on a wholly artistic level! I suppose, if I gave any sort of 'criticism', it would only be that the use of apostophes to denote speech did confuse me a bit at first, since those normally denote thoughts . . . That is hardly a criticism, since it actually would fall under your own personal writing style. I found it wholly refreshing to locate ANY fic that I could read through without being preoccupied with the prevalent typos. Kudos to you, I am impressed! Best, ~Sueric~
| Reviewed By: Becca Stareyes [MediaMiner Member] On: August 21, 2004 16:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, this is very nice and it does mimic the style of an epic sotry -- both the flaws and the strengths. Now, you seemed to have an interesting worldbuilding thing going on, which makes the science fantays geek in me happy. However, it is VERY infuriating to not get a sense of ANYTHING in the fic. The style of writing, while grand-sounding, was very dry and difficult to stay into. The vast numbers of names made me skim past much of the battle -- I couldn't bring myself to care when a Sailor Scout died or saw a family member get impaled, because I didn't know them. Also, as cool of an idea as incorperating Tolkienian material into Sailor Moon may seem, it make my inner Tolkien geek grab her timeline and ask "But where does it fit? Where!?" Overall, this just felt half baked. There is a reason epics are so long -- you can get a sense of some of the characters at least. In LotR, we get a good feel for most of the Fellowship and a few other humans and elves -- as well as Gandalf and Saruman. Here... well, maybe Lord Scorpio and Lady Aries, and Queen Serenity. Personally, I would try to develop my own voice, instead of copying another's. I would also focus more on telling the story of the fall of the Moon Kingdom rather than setting down the history of the fall. As is, this is a very dry read and far too rushed to draw me in. Remember, Tolkien devoted over 1,000 pages to Mordor's fall. Surely you could devote more to the fall of the Moon Kingdom.
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