| "How we came to be" Reviews/Comments [ 25 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Title: MORE!
Reviewed By: Bio Uotani [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2006 18:10 CST
Comment/Review:
PLEASE WRITE MORE! DIEING FOR MORE!
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Title: HURRY!
Reviewed By: Bio Uotani [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2006 19:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
WRITE DARN YOU WRITE! HURRY! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! PPPPPLLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEESSSSSS! Oh, and can this please end in a nice sex scene? Please!
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Title: yo
Reviewed By: horsesrocketh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 24, 2006 18:16 CST
Comment/Review:
im confused...is she being paired wit kai or rei? because i like the kaixfaith thing.:b and you must continue
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Title: : )
Reviewed By: horsesrocketh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 15, 2006 21:17 CST
Comment/Review:
awesome.....simply awesome! you did great on the point of view thing! and dont kill him!!!!!!please. and you absolutly MUST continue
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Title: yo
Reviewed By: horsesrocketh [MediaMiner Member] On: November 11, 2006 16:32 CST
Comment/Review:
youve gotta continue this story! and dont kill him
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Title: Interesting..
Reviewed By: Whatsername [MediaMiner Member] On: August 30, 2006 05:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
This was really odd ending of the secon chap. Kai, dead?? It really doesn't make sense at all.. But I like the story, and your way of writing, though I sometimes thing that you move forward a bit fast. I think I read your fist part of this story some time ago, when you first introduces Faith, but if I hadn't, I would probaably have a bit more difficulties to understand this fic. Anyways, good keep it up! I'd be really glad if you would like to check out my fics too and give me an oppinion :) Greetings// Whatsername
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Title: FFRG-chatper 1
Reviewed By: Kellen [MediaMiner Member] On: July 22, 2005 14:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to the FFRG. Let me preface this by saying that I really am not well-versed in the Beyblade universe, so I can't comment on characterization or anything of that nature. I wanted, however, to comment on the grammar in this short first chapter. You have some problems with paragraph breaks and punctuation regarding speaking. Many, many fic writers have the same problem: each time a different character speaks, there should be a paragraph break. Your title should be capitalized. The fic has a rough, abrupt start; you really need a little more description, especially in the beginning of the chapter. I hope that you can take this plot in new directions; it's one that has been overused before. You have a good start, but it does need work. I'd suggest working with a beta reader in regards to your grammar (ie, the paragraph breaks and the run on sentences I noticed), and adding description to the chapter. In order to deal with as heavy a subject as an addiction, you really need to get deeper into the characters and story. Don't just scratch the surface, especially in dealing with a subject like addiction. Again, thank you for submitting, and I look forward to seeing more from you. Cheers,Kellen
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Reviewed By: snake eyez [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2004 15:54 CST
Comment/Review:
dude that was good but it's sad kai dies makes me cry it was all good but i'am NOT a Max/Oliver i just don't see them together but i loved your fic
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Reviewed By: Naomike On: September 14, 2004 14:58 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
To say it like this : B-E-A-UTIFUL!!!!!!! That's the way I like it
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Title: WHAT?
Reviewed By: Me On: August 22, 2004 21:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dead? Dead, kai, dead. No...nope...can't be...*cries* Seriously...I am. It doesn't take much but...wow.
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| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
