| "Dirty" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] |
Reviewed By: Elisabeth On: November 04, 2004 09:59 CST
Comment/Review:
Need to write another sequel!! Love it.
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Reviewed By: Huge Aya/Yohji Fan(orY/A) On: September 12, 2004 17:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
I agree with Talyssa. It seems like you just decided to end the story and be done. I really liked Dark Release which is why I read this one. I'm hoping you write a sequel to all of this...your story does say that Schu will be back in a year...and it's told more like Dark Release. You seem to be an emerging writer so I hope you don't stop. Thank you for sharing your work with us all.
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Reviewed By: Talyssa_ On: September 11, 2004 15:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
Since you asked......I HATED IT! Okay I really didn't hate it, its just that it needs a lot of stylistic polishing, and more importantly, it wrapped up WAY too fast. you seemed to be building up a really interesting storyline, and then its like you decided not to bother and wrapped it up WAY too quickly, Aya did such a complete and impossible 180 that it made my head spin -- plus i felt like i had no idea what was going on anymore. The ideas are good but you didn't integrate them smoothly enough. There was no sense of story line, it was more like a series of awkwardly connected events ........on the same timeline. I think that you could take your time, get some gramatical help maybe, and rewrite this into a pretty good story, it just needs to be fleshed out
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Title: Dirty
Reviewed By: wilyfox On: September 11, 2004 03:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I thought this was an interesting concept for a fic. I just hate when Schuldig ends up being too much of a bastard. I don't enjoy Yohji paired with Aya. It's strange I can almost see Aya paired with anyone else except Yohji. Maybe his womanizer, ladies man persona hurt this idea for me. I like you writing and hope you write a good SchxAya fic.
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Reviewed By: Elfen [MediaMiner Member] On: August 24, 2004 08:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
Argh! What a place to end the second chapter. Can't wait to see how this is all going to end. Very interesting story!
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Reviewed By: Trinity Bennett [MediaMiner Member] On: August 20, 2004 17:46 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well done. I liked the first fic in this little arc you have going but, I think I'm enjoying this one more. You have done a nice job here, minus a few spelling/grammar mistakes. I like the way you have Aya portrayed and you chose well to have him be more of the focus of this first chapter. Keep it up!
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Reviewed By: elfen [MediaMiner Member] On: August 20, 2004 11:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You've done a wonderful job of making me 'feel' what Yohji and Aya are going through. It's angst at its best and I can't wait to read more. The boys need to get their shit together!
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