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| "shadow" Reviews/Comments [ 10 ] | Title: Good
Reviewed By: shadowzero [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2005 18:52 CST
Comment/Review:
Sorry It's takeing me so long to update since people are actually saying they like this fic im trying to make it the best I can but it should be up by sunday.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: When do we get an update?
Reviewed By: Me On: March 21, 2005 13:52 CST
Comment/Review:
I've read the first two chapters, and I have to say, I like it. Despite all the spelling/grammar/anything else that pops to mind, I like it. Anyway, I would like to know when we are getting the next part? Let me know please.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: Forgive me
Reviewed By: shadowzero [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2004 21:06 CST
Comment/Review:
For all of you who don't like this story,and I know there are many of you.Forgive me I did as much research as I could.I'm sorry that I said shakra and not chakra.I tried anyway,If you want to continue to hold my falts against me keep posting I read every new post.Alright,later
[ Request Review Removal ] | Reviewed By: Saddness4eva [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2004 19:17 CST
Comment/Review:
this is okay. i would preferr it if they were not 15 ...more like 16 and 17. that alot better for me . but anyways god. hurry and update.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: The pain... so much pain...
Reviewed By: Bedlam14 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2004 15:34 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh, my.... What you have here, my dear noob, is a John Doe. Oh, my god, they are NOT as prolific as Mary Sues, but they ARE there. Your punctuations are terrible, your grammar is disgusting, and yes, I am a mean old obaasan, so 'nyeh'. You might want to know, noob- 'shakra' is actually spelled 'chakra'. I'm surprised that nobody's told you that, actually. The one thing I'll give you is that there's no OOC evil. P|-|3@|2 7|-|3 00(! And 1337. Um, to make things better- Punctuation, grammar, spelling. Actual plot would make a big deal, too. What are you trying to do with this story, noob? Simply writing it, when you don't want to do anything with it,and NO real conflict?... yes, we've already established that I'm a mean bitch.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: Pain. So much pain...
Reviewed By: Bedlam14 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2004 15:33 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Comment/Review:
Oh, my.... What you have here, my dear noob, is a John Doe. Oh, my god, they are NOT as prolific as Mary Sues, but they ARE there. Your punctuations are terrible, your grammar is disgusting, and yes, I am a mean old obaasan, so 'nyeh'. You might want to know, noob- 'shakra' is actually spelled 'chakra'. I'm surprised that nobody's told you that, actually. The one thing I'll give you is that there's no OOC evil. P|-|3@|2 7|-|3 00(! And 1337. Um, to make things better- Punctuation, grammar, spelling. Actual plot would make a big deal, too. What are you trying to do with this story, noob? Simply writing it, when you don't want to do anything with it,and NO real conflict?... yes, we've already established that I'm a mean bitch.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: Hmm....
Reviewed By: bonekhan [MediaMiner Member] On: November 24, 2004 10:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, that was... painful could be the word. Or horrible. Either way, you have your work cut out for you. You REALLY need to work on your punctuation. Try using comma's, for instance, when your ending dialog. Or quotations to show that is it is in fact dialog. Also, try to start making paragraphs, especially in chapter two. Get an actual word processor, because just from the look of your story, you don't have a spell/grammer checker. Explain the characters, or try to explain Shadow's thought, emotions, and actions more througholy if it's from his point of view. Don't get me wrong, but your really do need to explain yourself a bit more. Example: "...The scent of sex all around him..." How does he smell sex? Also, why does the category say Songfic? Either make it live up to its name or change it, because that's how I saw this in the first place. Oh yeah, and try to make your chapters a little more longer. Please? If your going to write it, write it well" - Steven King
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: finally
Reviewed By: shadowzero [MediaMiner Member] On: August 25, 2004 15:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
ok i just want to thank you two for the advice i try and fix that.So thanks for the help.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: Serious work needs to be done
Reviewed By: Skullknightx01x [MediaMiner Member] On: August 25, 2004 11:50 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Comment/Review:
Aside from the basic grammer errors, OC fics can be a double edge sword. If thier written right they can be great if not its just another way of a saying its a badly written "self insertion" While Many people here are only familiar with the cartoon. You should go to www.titanstower.org for more of a history on the Teen Titans.
[ Request Review Removal ] | Title: Huh?????
Reviewed By: Crissy69 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 25, 2004 02:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok....not to be rude, but you can't really tell who's talking, when, or when no body is talking..... I mean it would be better if you put you know Quotation marks....like Robin got up and answerd the door "Can I help you?" "Yeah i'd like to try out for the Teen Titans." Said the mystery guy.....You know...so keep up the good work and hope you keep writing this fic. ~Cris
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