Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2004 21:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not sure if I've admit it earlier, but I'll say it anyways.Tenses are a little messed up here. You could simply edit to I ADMITTED. He's got everything what he needs or not need. Try editting to WHETHER HE NEEDS IT OR NOT. I suppose at some time I've been jealous of him because he has everything what I don't have. THAT I don't have...right? I've matured in a way no one has expected me to be, considering I'd been the most childish and airheaded one of the group that time during our adventures. You can delete everything I underlined. It's all hard to explain, especially the first one BE. Basically you're referring to MATURING in a WAY. WAY and BE just...gah. Mail me. There were other tiny grammar errors such as punctuation, but believe it or not, I DID enjoyed reading this. It was a touching melancholy one shot.
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