Reviewed By: zaitcev [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2004 23:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
As a fellow SI author, I reckon I have the right to note that the SI was somewhat too straightforward. Good execution, especially for a first fic, but it's hard to come from behind to win after a poor start. The world creation logics was cheerfuly ignored, so a reader was supposed to resign to, for example, a fall from the height of a 9 story building, missing language barrier, missing deliberations about the prisoner. I understand the necessity of the events, the problem with them is that they could have been smoothed in with a small effort, but it wasn't done. But the most glaring omission is an influence the SI exerts on the story world. It was purposeful, too. It looks as if the romance is going to be the main influence... some time in the future chapters. It works, no problem, but just a little too simple. Little side work here and there would've added flavour, I think. In this view, the explanation given to Aragorn after the Gandalf's fall was unsatisfactory. Sylwyn could have wiggled out of it easily with a variation of "had no chance" instead of giving the author's party line. All in all, the story was difficult to enjoy fully for me personally because of the disagreement with the basic premise. Well written, yes. But... Oh well, there's always the next story.
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