| "Herbie's Drive Through Nerma" Reviews/Comments [ 41 ] |
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Reviewed By: A.Nonymous On: October 05, 2004 21:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh yes... If you ever want to have Ranma or Akane learn something out of character all you have to do is put some form of "Martial Arts" at the beginning... Thus "Martial Arts Auto Assembly" or "Ninja Road Repair" Ranma will learn almost anything as long as it pretends to involve martial arts...
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Reviewed By: A.Nonymous On: October 05, 2004 20:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
In Chapter 4. Nodoka threatens Genma by holding a sword to his neck. Is this the same sword Herbie smashed to bits at the cliffside? Personally I'd recomend rewriting the Herbie scene. There's no need to actually destroy the Saotome blade, other than shock value. All you really need to do is dump it in the water and let Ranma fish it out after their conversation. Also, Nodoka sure can run if she can keep up with Herbie...he's a racecar after all. He's even done track racing so he can probably top 120mph (pretty good for a VW bug)... that's a 30 second mile... world class...
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Title: Chapter Four
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: October 03, 2004 23:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
While this is a decent chapter it does lack some descriptive paragraphs. While dialouge is good for a story a little description about what's going on through a character's mind, what they're wearing, or even what they're doing helps to liven up a chapter. And while the overall plot for the chapter was good it could use a little more to make it even better. Also, I noticed you had lesson spelled lesion in one of the first few paragraphs.
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Reviewed By: Jarkota On: October 03, 2004 23:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
It just keeps getting batter and better. Your writing has improved greatly over the months. "You've come far Pilgrim. Were it worth the trouble?" - Bearclaw Crislap Jeremiah Johnson
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Title: Chapter 3
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: October 01, 2004 23:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I liked how you handled the whole reveal the curse thing and how you dealt with Nodoka's reaction to it. Again another enjoyable chapter to read. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.
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Title: Chapter 2
Reviewed By: Chibihalo On: October 01, 2004 23:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very interesting chapter. I liked how you're handling the interaction between Herbie and the Nerima crew. It's getting better as you go along.
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Reviewed By: Otakufanatic [MediaMiner Member] On: September 29, 2004 00:01 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
sorry about the overall rating my coms on the fritz
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Reviewed By: Otakufanatic [MediaMiner Member] On: September 29, 2004 00:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
A great fic can't help but smile. I love herbie. i caught all the movies when i was younger a little car who doesn't give up wonder what akane and Ranma will share when they continue to ride in herbie. Hope to read more soon.
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Title: Test
Reviewed By: B. Smiley On: September 28, 2004 22:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is a test to see if a review will show up.
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Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: September 28, 2004 22:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a cute little fic but as was pointed out in the last review you did misspell Jusenkyo. It was interesting to read. The idea is quite original and how this pans out will be interesting.
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Reviewed By: Jarkota On: September 28, 2004 15:17 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great job, man. I didn't expect much at first, but this is pretty good. I took points away for spelling because you used 'vested' rather than 'visited' and misspelled Jusenkyo; other than that, I can find no flaws with this work. I would love to see further chapters of this.
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