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| "Shattered Gates" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: MarsStarlight [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2006 16:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work when you can. You have a nice plot development here I would really love to see where it goes. I am glad you just aren't giving up on completely your fanfic. Even though you have been through a lot that just shows your dedication to it. Like I said you are doing great and keep up the good work.
| Title: ch. 10
Reviewed By: Kitkatt On: February 22, 2005 23:09 CST
Comment/Review:
«"The more convincing the story being told is, the more enjoyable it becomes, right?" He shrugged and turned the page. "It seems like a waste of time to me," the fire-demon replied without looking at her. "Only if you aren't entertained by the story."» I totally agree with this. Your story is progressing very well and smoothly aside some little spelling mistakes (I can't talk about the grammar ones since I don't really notice them), but those doesn't spoil my fun while reading it. I'm glad you're back... I was worried you had given up the fic because of lack of reviews. People here at mm.org are so quiet and I have no clue why. Good thing is that the site has a "hit count" so you know how many hits the story has received. § See ya next chapter. § Kitkat
| Reviewed By: Kitkatt On: November 04, 2004 22:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
ok, if i could i would just erase my first review, 'cause i feel now that i judged the story too early. This is really a nice story and what i like the most is the lenght of the chapters. I love long stories. The best part of this chapter in my opinion was Hiei scaring the poor ningen and his reaction to the implication he was Kazuma's boyfriend, i honestly thought he would just kill without thinking twice. Just loved the scene. i'll stay tuned for more because i'm really hooked by this story. Kitkat
| Reviewed By: constantdreamer On: October 30, 2004 14:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I very much enjoyed your story and look forward to its conclusion. You write very well albeit a few minor spelling errors; though they can be fixed with a spell/grammar check. You gave just the right amount of detail without getting too meticulous or having to keep the reader guessing as to what you were trying to convey. I wish you luck on your book endeavour and if you get published I'd like to hear about it. My email is ConstantDreamer7782@yahoo.com Again, thank you for such an entertaining fic, one of the best I've read so far.
| Reviewed By: kitkatt On: October 18, 2004 21:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
hey, i'm really glad you understood me and didn't take to heart what i said. I mean not felt offended by the bluntness of the review. Also glad to know my fear of Mary-sue is not justified and i can see the focus widening in these last two chapters. Good job! I'll be reading even if i take some time to review, as you saw in my first review i kinda like to write big reviews, but those usually are due to something i see not quite right in the story and have to point to the authors. Well, see ya later. Kitkat (the second "t" is because i'm too lazy to sign in. You see? Professional reviewer have an account here as well. hehehe)
| Reviewed By: Kitkatt On: October 15, 2004 15:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
...~continuation~... The story is well written, has a good concept and you actually don't make Kuwabara dumb (if you didn't notice, i'm a Kuwabara suporter) nor write any other character with exagerations, in fact you keep them very in caracter, at least in my pov, and those are the reasons (along with the way you portrait Kazuma, without the anoying exageration in his caracterization others use to make) that kept me reading even with the main problem i already pointed. Maybe when the story progresses it will focus more in the YYH characters than in the OC (since she is here to enlighten the reikai of the mission they have ahead, once acomplished this she can gradually get out of focus) and it will be much more fun to read, but if it continues this way i'm afraid i'll stop reading. Not that i think you'd care much if i stopped or whatever, i mean it's only me, ne? Anyway, forgive me if i was too harsh in my review, but i felt i needed to say what i feel about your writing and ideas the more straight forward way possible. Besides MM.org has a limit of caracters in reviews so i had to be kinda fast and clear. By the way, english is not my native language so forgive any possible mistakes. See ya!Kitkat PS: Kuwabara doesnt have problems to send his thoughts to others, just remember when he contacted Yukina when he was going to save her and later, when he was preparing to die in the fight against Risho... but it's Au so i forgive you. ;P
| Reviewed By: Kitkatt On: October 15, 2004 15:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
You write quite well, but there's a big problem with your story, the mary-sue, i mean she knows what is going on the minds of people (ok, she have strong mental powers, but still it is anoying to have someone who is always right just showup with a very important role in the story, even more than the characters the story should be focused in), she knows Koenma very well and boss him around... you caught the drift. If it weren't because of her i bet more people would read. You know there are people (me included) that don't read if they see OCs in the story, worst if the OCs turn out to be Mary-sues(i dont really know if the therm Mary-sue aplies here, but it seems the best way to describe)...~this review contiues in other review due to the limit of characters imposed by mm.org~... sorry for the inconvenience.
| Reviewed By: Morro On: October 04, 2004 01:03 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
MUWAHHHAAAA!!I'M THE FIRST TO REVIEW!! -ehem... sorry, couldn't help myself... ^_^ But to everyone who reads this- read this fic!! It's really cool so far! Read! Review for the nice author or they'll cry and i won't know what's going to happen!!! Do it! OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE DRAGON OF THE DARKNESS FLAME!!! ... or something like that.... ya XD Love and Peace!!! (or in this case: Shut up stupid!!)
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