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| "Careful Planning" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: zaitcev [MediaMiner Member] On: March 30, 2005 00:39 CST
Comment/Review:
Well written. Naruto is a tad OOC. Firstly, he is not given to daydreaming, and secondly, specifically not about kissing. He does all this H techniques without understanding much how they work on Sandaime and Eibisu. But just give him a couple of years... And remember how Jiraya sent him to receive a hug (not a kiss, although that was probably assumed by more mature participants ^_^). I have another gripe, but purely personal: the setup of the target's identity was drawn out too much. Either it's the code of the joke, and then the fic must be shorter, or the main story is in Naruto's daydreaming, and then the rabit may as well be named. I'm sure others will disagree, but I prefer fics not to straddle unconnected ideas. That said, it is a nice piece overall.
| Reviewed By: akuma_river [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2005 05:14 CST
Comment/Review:
coolsa.
| Reviewed By: Shariku Onikage [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2004 05:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Not bad for a one pager. You got comedy in there nicely with Kakashi's 'i'm hungry' comment and the whole set up was done nicely. Naruto losing himself in 'Sakura world' was a little overdone though i think and it trailed off at the end. I think one more paragraph would have fitted it nicely.
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