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| "Who Said They're Right" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: kazenone3 On: February 08, 2005 21:26 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your style is good enough and there aren't any technical problems, it's just that so far I don't see anything Evangelion-ish about it aside from some name dropping. If you want to write original fiction that's great, but if you want to write Eva fanfiction you should try to tie this story in with the rest of the Eva world. I really don't feel like this fic has anything to do with NGE. I'm not saying that it can't be done, just that it isn't clicking yet.
| Reviewed By: Broken Visage [MediaMiner Member] On: November 01, 2004 17:59 CST
Comment/Review:
Hey, this was really good. Loved Israel as the setting (you never really see that). I have a few things I spotted, such as your use of "form" in every case of "from." I was also thinking you could have a smoother way of telling the reader that Israelis speak in questions over the cell.. something like "spoke in the form of a question (as was like tradition from some sort of national curiosity." or something like that... I'm sure you get what I'm saying. Other than those, which I caught on the second reading, I thought this was a very good piece. I'm looking forward to more :)
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