Reviewed By: Omega_Red9 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 28, 2005 23:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was a good fan fic, but could be better. There were some problems with the plot that didn't quite fit. For example, BB and Raven went for a walk even though the others were hungry and waiting for food. That simply seems to be quite out of character. I definitly like the mood that was set by the heat, the night, and the full moon. That was definitly a precursor to the romantic emotions expressed later on in the story. I would recommend to explore that aspect of the story slightly further. You have potential in this story, but need to elaborate on some of your metaphors and background settings. I would also try to reexamine the dialogue, it seemed a bit trite. It was also wondering if the others were actually trying to set up BB and Rae. If that is the case, I would have to say that you should either add some additional material expressing that idea, or add a new chapter from their perspective that expresses that point. Well, that is pretty much all I have to say. If you would be kind enough to give me a review on one of my stories I would be very appretiative. Any constructive criticism is helpful.
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