| "The Golden Dance" Reviews/Comments [ 24 ] |
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Title: Nicely Written
Reviewed By: anon. On: October 16, 2007 22:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nicely written. The style of your writing is very descriptive, making the scenes lively and the characters deep. Even your lemon scenes are well written and insightful. It also must be hard self-betaing, so I give you applause for that as well. The story is also very intriguing. I like the flashes of dreams some of the characters have, not only because it gives more light to the story, but also because they're told in a very creative way. I'm really enjoying this fic and I hope that you continue it (though it's been almost a year since your last update- but I trust you'll continue it). On another note, I'm in love with the weather in this story (it probably sounds weird I know). You didn't just say it was a hot day, you used very vivid imagery to get your point across. During that hot day, with a storm in the making, Jonouchi finds Priest Seth and Theif Bakura fighting each other. Then when it starts to rain, those characters have fallen into a sort of love with themselves- sometimes literally. Now that it's night time, new passions arise. I truly can't wait for another chapter. The story is versatile, always fresh and I also love the poetry before almost every chapter. To say the least, well done! I've really enjoyed reading this.
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Title: UPDATE SOON!!!
Reviewed By: Anonymous Sister of the Author [MediaMiner Member] On: July 05, 2007 19:40 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
what's joey's shocking discovery? i knew it was bakura in the corner!!! ASOTA
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Title: Challenge
Reviewed By: Jean is Jhoney On: February 02, 2007 18:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ah...so you took up that AU fic challenge too huh? I'm trying my own version of it. It's called "Surface" I tried it once, but got stuck, so I'm trying it again, but yours looks good so far.
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Reviewed By: floronic On: January 19, 2007 16:12 CST
Comment/Review:
Are you ever going to Update? This story is really well written and well thought out. I like it very much.
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Reviewed By: Saiyamaru [MediaMiner Member] On: November 05, 2006 23:38 CST
Comment/Review:
It's difficult for me to describe how strongly I felt the volatile emotions radiating from the characters, it kept me on edge and nearly took my breath away. It's not surprising really, one of the reasons I enjoy reading your writing so much is how clearly you express what a character is thinking and feeling, it pulls me right in, and I can actually see in my mind what is happening. I'm glad you were able to update two chapters so close together, and I look forward to when you are able to update again.
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Reviewed By: sglily - nli On: November 02, 2006 08:10 CST
Comment/Review:
Well... things are coming to a head in many senses of the phrase, eh? What an excellent chapter (if not a truly evil cliffhanger...). I liked your description of the destruction Bakura had wrought to Seth's face... where it wasn't clear which Bakura wanted to take out - the nose or teeth and in that wild moment of indecision had settled for somewhere in-between. For some reason that struck me. Kaiba's rage when it became clear as to what had gone down between Seth and Jou was well done. There is a deep hurt present there - a sense of betrayal and a love never vocalized - and I will be anxious to see how you handle any sort of patching up of that relationship. Bakura and Seth alone in a room together without angry words or fists flying... hm... Get on that next chapter! That's an order! ; ) Love it as always...
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Reviewed By: sglily - nli On: October 30, 2006 16:11 CST
Comment/Review:
This chapter was very powerful - especially the interactions between Bakura and Seth. It is interesting that Bakura is basically the scorned lover in your fic for oftentimes he is the one who is depicted as being "the prick" who dumps one for another without looking back or feeling shame. There is such brutal yet embarrassingly delicious tension going on in the whole confrontation scene between Bakura and Seth. I found it surprising that Bakura admitted to Seth about being attracted to Ryou but that Ryou only sought another in Bakura, someone he is not. That is what seemed to spark the revelation that Seth had partaken of the pleasures of the body of the substitute for his dead lover... Bakura's rage was beautiful and beautifully written. With Bakura gone how will the mystery be solved? Hurry up and write some more! ; )
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Reviewed By: sglily - nli On: October 08, 2006 18:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Bakura vs. modern day technology is always a hoot! I loved how Ryou was trying to concentrate on remembering just how this Bakura looked all dropdead sexy shirtless and decked out in black leather... I wonder, will the Spirit of the Ring Bakura somehow make an appearance by the end of the story? Even though I am not a fan of Kaiba/Jou, I do enjoy how you portray them. Jou's point-of-view was so "bumbling teenager in love" that it was adorable - with Kaiba's hand clutching Jou's and not wanting to let go of that comforting grip. I believe that Ryou wasn't feeling all that ashamed having a big, strong, manly Bakura hauling his pretty little ass around! I can't help it if I love those two and how you write them! Now that all parties involved are together, I wonder what is in store...
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Reviewed By: Saiyamaru-nli On: October 05, 2006 23:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
*grin* You have made my evening. I was hoping you would update again! I really enjoy your writtings, they are a pleasure to read.
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Title: Love it!
Reviewed By: Nekosune! On: April 29, 2006 20:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved it! Absolutely loved it! Cookies and pocky for you! ^_^ I'll give you yamyams if you update soon! ^_^
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Reviewed By: sglily - nli again On: March 29, 2006 19:47 CST
Comment/Review:
There seems to be an awful lot of apprehension and regret(?) in this chapter from both couples - Jou and Seth; Ryou, Spirit of the Ring Bakura, and Thief Bakura. The story took an unexpected twist. Although it pains me in a way that Ryou and Thief Bakura... didn't get it on... it was the right thing to do (or not to do... however you want to look at it!) Thief Bakura is in love with Seth so it would have been very, very bad for him to be with Ryou. It turns out that the lust Thief Bakura may have had for Ryou was indeed the Spirit's? Hmm... It looks like Ryou and the Bakuras are off to Kaiba Mansion... and maybe some much needed answers. Still loving it! Thanks for the quick update!
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Reviewed By: sglily - nli On: March 28, 2006 21:50 CST
Comment/Review:
The imagery of Ryou and Bakura in a bathroom naked alone is enough to make one swoon! I liked how you gave insights into Ryou's modesty and how he felt "sexy" walking around his own house naked. It seems that Ryou might be feeling some of the affects of having the time traveling Bakura in Ryou's time? Ryou washing and/or caressing Bakura's body in the shower while pumping him (poor choice of words, perhaps) for information was interesting. You made it clear that Ryou is not pleased to know that Bakura had and still has a thing for the Priest. Oh yes, jealousy reared its ugly head. The whole tub scene was wonderful. Ryou drifting away and becoming confused, worried about the Ring, his own Bakura, blacking out... and evil cliffhanger! I am just thrilled you found inspiration and kept going with this fiction. Look forward to more and discovering the mystery of the time travellers... and more Ryou and Bakura, naturally!
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Title: Vamp468-(i don't feel like logging in)
Reviewed By: evenin' On: March 28, 2006 21:19 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
You know, while I loved this chapter and all. I can't help get the feeling that I should go back and read the other seven chappies. ::laughs tiredly:: Or I'll do it tommorow. Either way this kicked ass!
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Title: whooyee
Reviewed By: Sisco (to lazy to log in) On: May 23, 2005 10:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Must have more chicka! I dying of yaoi exhaustion over here. XD!!! Please update soon! *hugs* I luvs ya! =^.^=
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Title: Happy Belated Birthday!! / Now that I've sucked up to you...more, please?
Reviewed By: whosjeebus [MediaMiner Member] On: April 03, 2005 18:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this story so far! Very original and engaging, with spot on characterization. Can't wait for the next update! Very interested in seeing where the thickening plot takes us next. Thanks for the great read, and keep up the good work!
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