| "FAMILY SECRETS" Reviews/Comments [ 80 ] |
| Pages (6): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 5 6 › » ] |
Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Pahhur(Not signed in) On: May 16, 2005 20:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off this fic did hit my funny boner several times. Also some of the characters were very well portraied. Now, there are severl problems I can see off the bat. The first major one is that it is in script format. It's okay for laughes, but in serious writing script will not do. You have to change it to narrative format. The second problem. You have a very Mary Sue character. (If you don't know what this is there are quite a few threads avalible in the Fan Fiction second of the Forums.) But to give you a basic idea, she's too perfect. Looks, fighting ability, everyone likes her... Not working. I myself am writing a sort of self insertion. There is a trick with it. You can keep stuff like looks, but you have to get rid of something else. Maybe people are jelous of those looks. I usually have my character the weakest person of the group. (Yusuke beat the tar outta me in one of my more recent chapters.) Otherwise, I only read the first chapter, so unless you have a very good reason why Kurama can be beaten up by four Thugs AND ask for help. He is very much out of character. (Also to note, Kuwabara is very attached to Yukina and has an honor code. Yusuke however...-.-)
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Title: I'm getting impatient...
Reviewed By: Eppy. Again. ^^ On: May 10, 2005 10:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hurry up and put up the next chapter!!!! I'm getting anxious. =^^= By the way, if you'd like some advice, I suggest that somehow Gwen is taken to the Makai while she's asleep, wakes up in chains and facing her creepy stalker and his master, and the Reikai Tantei all come to her rescue.
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Title: Can't Wait
Reviewed By: Katara [MediaMiner Member] On: April 30, 2005 08:52 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I know that whatever your next chapter holds Aj it will be wonderful. i can't wait to read it girl^^
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Reviewed By: Raven from b13s site On: April 22, 2005 18:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey Aj cool quiz
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Title: ...Back again. ^^;
Reviewed By: Eppy-dono On: April 18, 2005 15:44 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
"Guaranteed to wow." --Kirkus Reviews "Gwen and Kurama's love affair leaves us spellbound." --Romantic Times "Remarkable. With beautiful imagery and skillful plotting, Miz Gwen here brings us a tale of high adventure, ancient prophecy, honor, and romance." --Rendezvous
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Reviewed By: Kali (Alorien) On: April 17, 2005 02:06 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow, gwen, i think we did a pretty good job, can't wait to continue! i want to see how kurama iz gonna explain this one! ciao for now!
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Title: -_-; I wrote 'Stupidity Ray'
Reviewed By: Eppy-dono (I can't log in...) On: April 15, 2005 18:16 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I haven't laughed this hard since me and my friends role-played the stupidity ray story... It's a fun read and I give it five out of five stars! -applause-
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Reviewed By: User: Kage Hogosha On: April 15, 2005 16:09 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i loved it. *starts jumping all over the place* Oh, and to awnser your question Hiei and Yukina are TWINS(i know its weird when u think about it, i don't quite understand it myself) a friend of mines did A LOT of extensive research on Yu-Yu Hakusho.
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Reviewed By: AnimeJunkie [MediaMiner Member] On: April 15, 2005 15:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
i'm working on 17 now, ^_^
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Title: love this story!!!
Reviewed By: Jessica (ratloverjlw) On: April 15, 2005 13:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've only read the first 5 chapters so far, but i love this story. I love the buliding romance between Gwen and Kurama. I love how well u portrayed the characters like how u discribed Kurama, and how you had a gourp of fangirls chase him (which would happen in real life ^_^)
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Title: LOVE IT
Reviewed By: bookwormloverjen - i cant log in On: April 15, 2005 10:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
GREAT ( THUMBS UP WAY UP ) THIS IS GREAT VERY GREAT VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY....I like the top and the bottom of the chapter I do that thing a bit ( holds hand up and shakes it a bit in an 'ifie' way ) VERY VERY VERY GOOD
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Title: Oh..so Kawii!!!!
Reviewed By: Katara [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2005 21:44 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I know that japanese too..what a language to learn.^^ This was such a passionate chapter Aj. please write more soon!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: Guardiangirl624 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 14, 2005 21:42 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hahahahahaha!you Really Out did youself!splendid! 'Hiei stop drooling on the carpet'is right!does he have any pride?
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Reviewed By: Kuramas gurl [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2005 22:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
If I hadn't learnned the common Japanese phrases from reading fanfiction, my reaction would have been the same as Gwen's. "bless you" I'm sorry but that was too funny. Kurama's mom's name is Shiori, thougut you'd like to know. and Koenma's the prince of Reikai, not Makai. Well, I still luv ya and want yas to update again soon.
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Title: suggestions
Reviewed By: Aliah (not logged in) On: April 02, 2005 03:07 CST
Comment/Review:
i think that she should, and it should be huge, like the fangirls have this great plan like in fruitsbaskets(dont own)... So yeah, i spose that'd be cool.... And the coupon. Does that mean theyll have another date? And why havent they kissed... for real!!!!!!
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