Reviewed By: fallenangel7583 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 08, 2004 00:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
you have an intresting plot here...you tossed everything that could sum up the end of the show into one shabang though. you have a LOT of dialogue and not enough description i do believe. then again, i'm one who can make 2 weeks into 30 chapters, so i shall not speak of description. LOL. you have a great premice for a great story, but i feel like it was rushed. one thign you should never do when writting is rush. the two went from having these complicated fights to admitting their love to the marking in nearly four paragraphs. you have a great story, but i would add to it. add background, add description, add more antagonizing between the two. i know a lot of people would be adverse to knowing InuYasha hurt (let alone struck) Kagome...not that she HAS NOT deserved it in the past, he vowed to never let anyone hurt her....can he protect her from himself? maybe one thing you want to consider if you chose to make a sequal or edit this story. good plot, good dialogue, lets see where you can take this.
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