| "Love Object" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Reviewed By: Moldy On: February 06, 2009 10:49 CST
Comment/Review:
Uhh, it seems the last part of my message was cut out XP If you want to contact me, my email's artistic_tsuna@hotmail.com. Sorry if you can see this and I've just pointlessly made a comment, but I really would love to hear your POV.
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Reviewed By: Moldy On: February 06, 2009 10:45 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic is incredibly good. You've done a great job of writing it. Though I'm not finished the whole way through yet, there was just something that really bothers me. I'm ignoring it because I'm really enjoying the fic, but still. The problem I've found is that you don't really seem to know how 14 year olds act. They're teenagers, I find it highly unlikely that they would be going around playing red light green light and playing on playgrounds. The way you've written it makes it seem like they're all 11. Like how Toboe decided to 'try out' masturbating. If he were really 14 I'm sure he'd already have tried it out. Also, not knowing about sex and learning through a 'big boys' talk? Honestly, I know you're trying to portray him as naive and innocent, but you can still have that without making him seem like a child. You've just taken the point and gone overboard with it. I also think that if Toboe were 14, he would wish for more independance from Kiba, who babies him waaaay too much. Yes, Kiba is protective, no it doesn't mean that he has to run Toboe's bath water for him. Actually, I think the only way that this aspect of the fic would work for me is if you went through and changed Toboe's age to 12. That's the only way his age would would fit in with the way he acts. Sorry for ranting but I really needed to get that out of my system. The rest of the fic is awesome. Other character developement is done very well and Tsume's parts. . . hilarious. When he had sex with the couch, I don't think I stopped laughing for a full 5 minutes. I love how psychopathic and creepy you've made him
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Reviewed By: Final Angelic Requiem On: May 20, 2007 00:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Loved it. That's the best way I can describe it. The first few chapters were a bit slow and they made it hard to really get into the story, but otherwise, it was great. There were still several spelling & grammar errors, but they weren't too common so, I'm not going to take any points for them. I'm just going to say, I cried a couple times in your story. It was great, it had plot, character, a weird (yet disturbingly well made) love interest and most importantly, it ended amazingly well. Keep writing, your fan F.A.R.
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Reviewed By: Rosekikilola On: July 25, 2006 21:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You did an amazing job on this one! I have to say that you are one of my favorite writers for fanfiction. I love the fanfictions that are long chapter stories. And to top it all off this was different from anything I have ever read! Keep up the great work I'll be looking forward for your next story!
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Title: Sweet
Reviewed By: jean paul On: June 24, 2006 01:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hay you no what you should make a sequil to this story it is soo good and make it happy this time no more bad stuff in it ok love ya a big fan
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Reviewed By: vixie_rose [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2006 13:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
ay que cute! Love it!
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Reviewed By: Lacerta On: August 31, 2005 20:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
I can't believe that a story as good as this one had so few reviews… what a shame! You obviously spent a lot of time & effort writing this, but it was all worth it: this is one fine piece of literature! The plot had many unexpected turns, all the characters were wonderfully portrayed and the lemon scenes were good and well written. Concerning the Hige/Tsume fanfic you're planning to write… please do! Few people like this paring but I find it so fascinating (probably too much love, too much fighting and just too many misunderstanding for their own good ;)) Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep writting! Lacerta3@hotmail.com
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Title: Love Object
Reviewed By: breal_blood_demon [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2005 17:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey great story!i hope that you do a sequel cause you left it where you probably do one. anyways good luck on your other stories.
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Title: luv it!
Reviewed By: sno On: February 26, 2005 15:27 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
ch. 37= awesome! if it were me, i wouldn't have enough energy to laugh *lol* keep up the good work
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Reviewed By: keyli On: February 16, 2005 07:08 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
that was so awesome! you did a great job, i was wonder if that's the end or is toboe goiong back to kiba's afterwards...
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Title: I love this.
Reviewed By: dharmaserenity [MediaMiner Member] On: February 04, 2005 22:47 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've read up to chapter 4 now and plan to read the rest over the next few days. This is very good. I love the original twist to the way you've taken these characters, yet still managed to keep their personalities from the show intact. I love the idea of Tsume as a supermodel. ^_^ This is very good and enjoyable and keeps your attention. My only critique was the same as the other reviewers. Otherwise, it seems fine in grammar, etc. Great job! I've added the story to my favorites.
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Reviewed By: Morganna Mode Gone On: January 20, 2005 01:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is just plain and simply beautiful! I really am amazed by it. I wish there wasn't such a strict limit for review length, but oh well. I'll try to put something meaningful down. I only just found this story today and read all the chapters in one day. Oh, I know I'm gonna sound like a pain in the ass so I'm sorry. Hisself should be himself everytime. That's the only thing I can find that that needs improvement, and it's not something that big. You've done a fantastic job! I just absolutely love the way you've developed the characters and their own personalities along with personal problems. I've truly enjoyed the development and pace of Kiba and Hige's growing relationship. I also like the running theme you have going with Kiba trying to bottle up all his problems. I really would like to know what it is that's on Kiba's right arm. I also like Hige's persistence in trying to find out what Kiba is hiding and I really hope Kiba will finally let his barrior down. Their lemon was also very nicely done and a good release of the tension you had built up. I've also greatly enjoyed Tsume almost stalker like behavior in his fixation with Toboe. I've really enjoyed their little personal sessions fantasizing about the other. I'm really looking foward to seeing how this develops. I'd say more, but I'm running out of words. My email is morgannamodegone@yahoo.com I hang out @ ff.net You should post this there. It would pass rating limitations. Morganna out ;-)
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