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| "Tsume's Paradise" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: pants
Reviewed By: inuzumarose [MediaMiner Member] On: August 19, 2006 09:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was very good. If you want improvement, I'd say you could do two things. First off, in the beginning, have more of a reaction from Tsume as to Toboe's new attitude/body. Also, he would probably be a little shocked when the boy he once new immedietly wanted to start going at it. (not that he would refuse, just, you know, he might want to make sure that Toboe really wanted to do it.) secondly, maybe it's just me. but I completely missed the part where they took off the pants. I got the shirt removal, but I didn't register where or when they removed their pants! over all, it was very good. just a few points.
| Reviewed By: foxyval [MediaMiner Member] On: June 18, 2006 22:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This one made me drool. I love that you made Toboe the dominant one.
| Title: Tsume's Paradise
Reviewed By: breal_blood_demon [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2005 18:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey awsome story u got here. if u wanted u could make a sequel to this. u left it there so u could if u wanted to. i've read some of ur other stories and their great. good job on all of ur stories. please update soon if ur puttin another part to this story. cya l8r.
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