Reviewed By: Yoko Oro [MediaMiner Member] On: February 15, 2005 13:06 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Don't be discouraged that I didn't rate your story good. By all means, continue writing! The only way to get better at writing ficcies is to read and write often. Your stories will get better with time. In the mean time, here are some pointers: 1. Work on sentence structure. I noticed that your sentences were very choppy. 2. Work on word choice. Not everybody has a big vocabuary. However, it is very important not to be repetitive in your wording. 3. Work on lead-ins. A lead-in is when you build up to something before you state something. Example: I'm reading along, and then all of a sudden we learn that Kenshin has siblings. Here's a tip: NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! 4. Work on character development. You tell the story like it was a lecture by stating things so matter-o-factly. There was hardly any emotion what so ever. The characters seem shallow. 5. Work on suspence. I knew how this story was going to end just by reading the title. Overall, this ficcie was lame, predictable, unoriginal, and boring. You can do better. I BELIVE IN YOU!!!
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