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| "Simply You" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: Paniwi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2005 14:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
I think it's a lovely story, Especcially the way you decided not to let them fall into eachothers arms screaming there love for eachother too the world. Good job *thumbs up*
| Reviewed By: Tjay Motou [MediaMiner Member] On: February 13, 2005 17:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
not bad... you should look into a beta reader, and paragraphing... when someone new speaks you need to start a new paragraph... it makes it less confusing. I don't mean to sound harsh but it was very confusing to know who was saying what... you need to remember to write a story as if everyone who will be reading it, is a moron... (I'm not saying they are) but that's how you should do it... you may know who's talking but I don't. That is the reason for the ratings I give you... This also applies to your "Simply Held" story. I hope I don't sound to harsh. I'm trying to be as helpful as possible... also don't let my words scare you or anger you... I'm telling you this because I'm being honest. Which is what you want from a reviewer... I'm not going to say it's the best because it wasn't, I'm going say it's the worst fic ever because it wasn't. I am going to say I think you can do better. If you do anything just please get a beta/proof reader! Anyways I hope to see improvement from you.
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