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| "Consanguinity" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: May 01, 2005 10:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFARG! There is a nice ambience to the prologue of your story, and overall it is a good read. I noticed a few places that were a little stilted or where a different phrase would probably suit your purposes better. A few grammatical flaws make some of the passages a little hard to understand, but on the whole, it is a solid piece. A good, reliable beta reader would help immensely-one that will tell you what you need to hear, not what you would like to hear. You do have a good foundation for your story with a better AU storyline than many I've read. Thanks again for submitting to FFARG, and I wish you luck with your story!
| Title: ffarg review
Reviewed By: angelica incarnate [MediaMiner Member] On: May 01, 2005 01:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
Alright, I'd like to start by saying thanks for submitting your work for review. You have very good grammar, spelling, and voice. You have a solid plot and distinct characters. In fact, that's my suggestion with this story. Your characterizations are distinct, as is your plot. If you changed the character names and minor plot points you have something that, with a little work, could be added to your portfolio incase you ever want to be published. Fanfic writers should be striving to create original works because it is the originals that give people the opportunity to write fanfiction. Your story could stand quite easily on it's own without using Takahashi's characters. Thanks for sharing such a solid piece with such potential.
| Reviewed By: inu_is_da_best [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2005 17:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
wow this is a great start this story sounds good.hope you review soon.
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