| "A Gift" Reviews/Comments [ 48 ] |
| Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] |
Title: hhh
Reviewed By: kpkchq [MediaMiner Member] On: September 22, 2005 03:46 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sasuke's back !!! *fight* plzzz plzzzz update a.s.a.p wahhhhhhh
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Reviewed By: dragonmaster86 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 21, 2005 22:24 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I was so happy when I saw that you updated! I was also relieved to know that Temari isn't dead. So, Sasuke is back, huh? GREAT! Now all Naruto has to do is release the Kyuubi and kick his ass, again! It should be sweet! Again, great job on the chapter! I really enjoyed it and I can't wait for the next one!
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Title: I like!
Reviewed By: Chnmmr On: August 29, 2005 08:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off, you really need to check your spelling and grammer... it is all over the place. But now that the bad points are done, I can start the compliment. I am greatly enjoying this story. Too often all the romance type fics are yaoi or Kakashi with some random OC. This fic is a breath of fresh air and I am looking forward to the updates!
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Title: I like!
Reviewed By: Chnmmr On: August 29, 2005 08:58 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
First off, you really need to check your spelling and grammer... it is all over the place. But now that the bad points are done, I can start the compliment. I am greatly enjoying this story. Too often all the romance type fics are yaoi or Kakashi with some random OC. This fic is a breath of fresh air and I am looking forward to the updates!
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Reviewed By: dragonmaster86 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 28, 2005 16:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's been weeks since your last update! When is the next chapter coming out? I MUST read it!
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Title: FFARG review chapter 1
Reviewed By: Sari-15 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 26, 2005 18:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFARG. You weren't specific in which chapter you wanted reviewed, so I just started at the beginning. You have a nice start, and I thought your writing had real promise to it. There are a few things that I did notice, in the way of grammar...something I rarely comment on. I highly recommend finding a beta who is well versed in grammar. There were several places where I suspect you used thesaurus...but used a word that didn't quite mean what you intended. One example was in a Hinata section, talking about applicable suitors. The definition of applicable is "That can be applied; relevant or appropriate: a rule not applicable in all cases; added the applicable sales tax." As well as many misspellings such as using donned instead of dawned...which again have different meaning. Some of your wording came across as a little stilted...almost as if you were trying too hard. Things like double usage of the word because in the first paragraph for example as well as 'had had' there are many different ways to word things, be creative. Don't be afraid of conjugations, wasn't, isn't, doesn't...it helps with the flow as that's how most people speak. You have a lot of promise, but your grammar really needs cleaned up. There were several places where I saw you use her instead of she and things like that. A beta would be a huge help for you. Thanks for submitting to FFARG
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Reviewed By: OMG THIS IS THE BEST On: July 17, 2005 19:24 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
THIS IS A REALY GOOD FIC I WOULD LIKE TO SEE AN UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO PRESHER I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT ELSE YOU DO
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Title: Best NaruTema fic!
Reviewed By: Citan9 On: June 20, 2005 05:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow didn't know there is a chaptered NaruTema fic here. This is the best N/T fic i've read imo and its nc-17 heheh. Lol i think you have the best Naru/Female nc-17 fic.... 99% here is yaoi which i avoid. Well i just hope this will end with a happy NaruTema ending. Maybe you should stick Hinata to Gaara so she can get over Naruto then Ino to Neji heheh. Just checked your profile at ff.net, maybe you should also post a link there to get more readers. Or post updates there if you updated here. Please update soon.
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Title: Cliffhanger GYAAAAAAAAAAH
Reviewed By: Dragon Noir On: June 06, 2005 17:58 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like your story, your style is great you always keep the beat go on, even when you go on the lemon scene (which are great) to meaningless dialogs and fight scene (like with tsunade, too bad they didn't have a little brawl, could have been fun to have tsu releasing all her frustration on an intentionnaly helpless naruto who is saved by the children ganging up against the ugly granny ^^) i also love the plot and can't wait to see what had happened in konoha when tsunade came back and find the mess (hope shikamar and especially sakura and hiashi get their ass kicked, and maybe get to have some tea with ibiki if you know what i'm refering to hu hu hu) AHHHH what the hell happened, don't tell me temari is dead ?! can't wait to see naruto's reaction (will he fox out) and how temari will get back in the story (i don't think you would kill her like this) well, bring next chapter fast this really is a mean cliffhanger (try to stop eating his keyboard) and for this lame review 2 or 3 places before mine, if the author of it read it also by the way, I AM A FERVENT DEFENSOR OF NARUHINA, this is the couple i like best and i can't get enough of it, but this fic, along with Erikkoek's "Do you hate me" were of the first NaruTema i read and i really enjoyed them a great deal, in fact theses 2 fics made me beleive the NaruTema has a hell of potential and made me really like this couple a storry written with style, originality and creativity is always very good, no matter the couple
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Reviewed By: Sentera Anugi On: June 02, 2005 15:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm liking this story more and more with every new chapter i read. your style of writing is amazing and the story is very well thought out. keep up the good work.(i hope to read a hin/naru/tem/ino all together chap very soon pending tem isnt dead. but a lemon scen with all of them and your writing style would be terrific)~Sentera
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Reviewed By: Shadow117 On: June 02, 2005 15:14 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Holy Christ dude, that's the biggest cliffhanger I've ever read in a while. (What a coincidence about that 'talk' they had last night and then this.) That chapter has left me utterly speechless. I have no idea what to think about the future chapters, but keep up the good work. I won't hate this story no matter the outcome, it's just too good. But that last paragraph was VERY depressing. *sob* Hope for another excellent update!
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Title: you jack ass
Reviewed By: Ramenpapermaster On: May 27, 2005 22:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
you should die painfully naruto belongs ONLY to HINATA!!! i dont care if you call my a angry fan boy but if we meet in realy life i'd have to shove some naruhina fluff up your ASS!!!
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Reviewed By: kai01 On: May 26, 2005 20:29 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
great update, Hatsu is jealous of temari! so cute! i feel bad for her thought, she's had such a bad life and all. update soon
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Reviewed By: dragonmaster86 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 25, 2005 12:29 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Another nice little chapter! I was a bit disappointed that it was so short, but I suppose you can make it up by making the next one longer. I enjoyed reading about Hatsu's past and about her feelings toward Naruto. I can't wait to see what happens when Naruto and Sasuke meet again. One thing that's for sure is that there is no way Sasuke can catch up to Naruto now! Keep up the good work and update soon!
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Title: Overall Rating=>BEAUTIFUL!
Reviewed By: NarutoFan1231 On: May 23, 2005 02:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
First of all, I need to clarify that I am rating this series as a whole. In regards to the style of writing, I find it very well paced and word choice is excellent here. I can easily use my imagination to paint the picture of the story you have presented. Spelling and Grammer were good, enough said here. I think this is very original, besides the obvious use of Naruto characters and some plotline. I can find myself standing on the edge of excitement, arousal, and curiosity as I read through all of these chapters. Your ideas and character development seem very natural and well rounded, making the characters and storyline even better. Very well done overall. This was a great read and I would encourage anyone who wants some quality reading to read these chapters. The only criticism I have is that some characters are a little too extreme, past my personal veiws, but that is my subjective opinion. Objectively, I can find very few flaws, all of which are minor and need not metioning (i honestly can't remember them they are so minor. Great fanfic, I will make sure to check out the rest of your writings, if more exist. ^_^ Suggestions for future work: 1. Possibly develop some other love interests on the side. With Naruto and Temari marrying, it might get the others into thinking about their futures. 2. Sakura needs punishment. BIG TIME! 3. Try and involve some of the other villages from his past, the country of the Wave (where Zabuza and Haku fought team 7) in particular.
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