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| "Whats with me?!" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: Happy-Roll [MediaMiner Member] On: June 30, 2007 23:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your writing is...lacking originality. The characters are waaaaaaaay out character. I mean, really?!! Azusa was supposed to console Hatsumi, and Hatsumi isn't that strong-willed. Also, Ryoki wouldn't be so kind. Did you even read the book? This should be based on the characters considering it is fanfiction. Your story should also be proof-read, and you should really consider the character's reactions. After seeing her boyfriend cheat on her, Hasumi should already be going at it with another. It makes her seem kind of skanky. Your story is lacking all of the creative details that would be found in an...adequete story.
| Reviewed By: Elf From Space On: May 24, 2005 03:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well... You really need to proofread. You use the wrong word a lot, like writing "your" instead of "you're" It's very distracting and makes it hard to actually enjoy the fic. Also the characters are pretty far off. While it's nice to see an actual lemon for this series, you should really work on coming up with more of a plot and then trying to polish your writing better.
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