| "Hero of the Day" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Reviewed By: funnyduckie1 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2007 09:58 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
its pretty good.. i like gohan acting this way he seems WAY COOLER!
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Reviewed By: chab On: September 10, 2005 00:56 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
you have to finish this i want to know what happens so you must finish this please please pretty please
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Reviewed By: roseofvegeta [MediaMiner Member] On: March 15, 2005 07:59 CST
Comment/Review:
I've seen you around but never got the chance to read any of your fics. I only read the prologue so far but from what I read, you writing is really good. Your descriptions are very vivid and beautiful. A couple of constructive criticisms though: "I go Super Saiya-jin,"...I think you meant "I'll go Super Saiya-jin"...just be careful to proofread carefully (I know it's not easy to find all your flaws). Also, during the dialogue, you used a lot of "He said" "she said". Cut down on those. I'm sure you're trying to avoid using the "Gohan said" "Videl said" situation too much. What you can do is say "the raven haired teen said" or "the blonde cooed staring at Gohan" (of course in regards to Erasa). You also need to show a little more variety of emotion during the dialogue with each character (not everyone just says or states, you know what I mean...sometimes they may be rubbing their neck in a sheepish manner or politely commenting or yelling so loud their face turn tomato red....those types of things). I hope these suggestions help you and I hope to read more of the fic soon.
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Title: LOL
Reviewed By: Eicky Vicky On: March 13, 2005 00:29 CST
Comment/Review:
update update update!!!!!!!!!!!
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Title: plz more
Reviewed By: more more On: March 11, 2005 00:27 CST
Comment/Review:
Plz write more there arent enough gohan and videl fics out there so plz continue.
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Title: review
Reviewed By: sup On: March 08, 2005 11:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I also thought that gohan was way to much of a nerd in the dbz show and i want you to keep going on this so plz update soon its really good.
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