| "Hopes and Fears" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2005 07:46 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Poor Joey, I feel bad for Ryou but I think Joey should go for Kaiba wh seems to adore him. Put Ryopu with Yugi or Marik. I love it Please update soon.
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Title: liked
Reviewed By: puffin32781 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 03, 2005 23:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this story. I can't wait to see what happens at the party. Please when you have the time update and keep up the good job on this story.
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Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 11, 2005 07:30 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm glad you updated. I really like this a lot. Great job!
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Title: FFARG Review Ch. 1
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: May 09, 2005 11:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFARG. While I like the premise of your first chapter, I did notice a few things that I wanted to point out. Firstly, while it has been awhile since I read manga, I do believe that Jounouchi's father is an abusive drunk, which would be canon, not just fanon. That aside, there are some significant grammatical issues (inappropriate and/or missing punctuation) as well as some trouble with redundancy as well as 'right spelling/wrong word' issues (fourth paragraph, the word 'excited' I believe should be 'exited'). Another thing I noticed was a problem with the use of Japanese Honorifics. An editor at a magazine would probably call Jounouchi "san" if he works for the magazine, however, if the editor used this, so would Jounouchi in reference to the Yukito. "Kun" is reserved for younger men and boys, and is used mostly to denote affection, much like the use of 'chan' for a girl or very young boy, but certainly not business associates. I think overall, your story could benefit from a reliable beta who could help you in taking care of these sorts of thing. You do have a good grasp of believable dialogue, and the chapter has a nice tempo that doesn't get too bogged down in things. Good description, and overall, a strong first chapter. Thanks again for submitting to FFARG!
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Reviewed By: aliascatts On: April 25, 2005 16:08 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great job I will be looking forward to your next installment. Seto and Jou are my fav couple. I can't wait to see what will happen at the reunion especially when Mai and Varon show up!!
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Reviewed By: dragonlady222 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2005 03:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great story. I think you did really well on Shizuka's character, even though I don't read the Manga very often. Please update soon.
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Title: ( bookwormloverjen )
Reviewed By: bwlj On: April 16, 2005 19:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
GREAT this is getting good cant wait for the next chpt maybe jou and kabia talk and tell each other about their feelings.....( thumbs up )
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Reviewed By: AOTS On: March 27, 2005 16:33 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yeah! Another chapter! I loved this one too, and if you ask me... I would have slapped Mai, the fact that she would constantly rub it in Jounouchi's face of how he wasn't like someone else would have caused me to be really bitchy and hurt people! Oh, and about Jounouchi's parents, I agree with you, his mom really did not look happy to see him in either the anime and manga and her 'thank you' seemed pretty tight-liped. As for Jounouchi's father, well there is a reason for he being portrayed as an abusive drunk. See in the manga; one day Jou isn't in school causing everyone to worry and when they go over to Jou's house, they open the door and a beer bottle is hurtled in their face followed by a a shot of a really disgusting (beer filled) apartment and Jou's father says "Where the hell you been boy?!" So that's why people assume he's a crappy father. I don't see it though, sure he's a drunk but you never see any signs of him being abusive. So it makes me mad how all these fics with Jou's father has him being a complete ass; he has a drinking problem and a list of debts the size of your arm but that doesn't mean he's a complete loser (n_n;;)... anyway. Just wanted to fill you in, because you asked, and I couldn't resist >.> Excellent chapter and I hope the next one's coming soon!! -Assassin of the Shadows
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Title: wow
Reviewed By: bookwormloverjen [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2005 15:48 CST
Comment/Review:
i hope that jou watches out for kabia.........this is a great story, plz continue plz
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Title: hehe
Reviewed By: AOTS On: March 14, 2005 09:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Waahhh~! This is so cute, I loved it all to pieces! I love reading fanfics that allow you to grasp a clear picture, and this was like reading a movie! Everything was so nicely put; I had to go for a walk afterwards just to calm down- I was that excited (blushes)! I hope you update more soon, I can't wait to find out what happens next; and I hope Jounouchi succeeds in getting over Mai (All female YGO characters annoy me to no end, Mai especially -.-) because Seto and Jounouchi are my favorite couple, it brings tears to my eyes when I'm reading a fic where they aren't! lol Well I'll be going now, hurry up and update, I'm watching your fic now!! - Assassin of the Shadows
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Reviewed By: maurelle On: March 09, 2005 18:53 CST
Comment/Review:
I loved it. You kept everyone in character and amanged to make it seem like they were older. I can so see Jyou doing that line of work. I love the little characterizations like the amount of clothes and the car. They help to bring out Jyou as having more depth than in the anime. Keep up the wonderful work. I look forward to more.
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Title: WOW
Reviewed By: bookwormloverjen [MediaMiner Member] On: March 09, 2005 17:57 CST
Comment/Review:
WOW is all i can say plz keep going
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