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| "Strange Duet" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] | | Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] | Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Broken Visage [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 18:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
The descriptions are good, as is immediately apparent. However, for emphasis, you do not use bold. You never, ever need bold font in prose. If the surrounding text is italic, you take off italics for emphasis; if it's regular font, then you turn on italics for the emphasized word. You also do not need to show each person yelling "Kagome!" Personally, I find that it looks like an excuse to take up space. All you need is a simple, "Kagome's companions panicked, yelling for her as they spotted her in trouble" or something similar. Also, everyone's default language is Japanese and it's automatically translated so that readers/watchers of the series understand it. Because of that, they should speak ALL English unless using actual names and surnames (like chan and sa. As such, "baka" and such should probably be avoided. You also should not use caps when someone is yelling. The exclamation point tells the reader that. Caps looks unprofessional. You don't need quotes around thoughts if the thoughts are italic; when you use both single and double quotes, the single goes inside double, not the other way around. You have a nice story going here, keep up the writing and thank you for submitting to FFARG. :-)
| Title: wer
Reviewed By: Hanyou_Miko_Higurashi [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2005 22:29 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
tweekage cool/
| Reviewed By: ashtonreed [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2005 22:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like the direction the fic is heading. Possible Sess/Kag anywhere? Even if it's not the pairing, a bit of fluff cant hurt. The whole Kag being naked in front of Sessh kinda trew me though. I mean I see her as being a bit more modest. But really good fic so far, cant wait for the next chapter.
| Reviewed By: Besanii On: March 27, 2005 18:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Good fic so far...im intrigued..some things are a wee bit fuzzy.. For one, did kagome forget she is slighly naked in this chapter...it may just be me, but if i had been surprised by a gorgeous male while bathing, id be wondering where my clothes are...granted, the realization that Sesshoumaru is extremely dangerous might affect that. still id rather be attacked or whatnot with some clothes on...keep up the really good work and i hope you will continue this story...its a different angle, and it seems to have merit..update soon.
| Title: morbidvortex
Reviewed By: morbidvortex [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2005 03:19 CST
Comment/Review:
dont stress over it i think that this is a great story so far and look forward to future chapters
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