| "Legend of the Hanyou" Reviews/Comments [ 45 ] |
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Reviewed By: Zirra Nova [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 21:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
oooo, oooo, you got to update really soon, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease, i beg of you PLEASE UPDATE ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is great and i got to know what the other legend says, PLEASE UPDATE!!! man i must sound pathetic o well i don't care as long as it gets you to update, so please update asap, and one more for good measure, PLEASE!!!:D Zirra
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Title: Oooh...intriguing!
Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 14:59 CDT
Comment/Review:
A new legend with a possible hope that Kagome will see InuYasha again like she wished? Mayhap that wish is the very reason that the other legend now exists. Stranger things can happen. Very promising beginning. Loved the destruction of Naraku. -- I'll be watching.
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Reviewed By: tasha_chan28 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 23, 2005 12:57 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow very good story I can't wait 'til the next chapter.
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Reviewed By: cjflutterbye [MediaMiner Member] On: April 02, 2005 00:43 CST
Comment/Review:
ack... Well, at least I know that you have it completed out on FF... I'm not sure.. but I just might have to go there to keep reading... First chappie has sucked me in...
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Title: ffarg review
Reviewed By: angelica incarnate [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 18:55 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm in an interesting position to review here having already read some 20 chapters of this piece. The changes you've made in revision show how much you've grown as a writer-- your charactizations are more confident, solid, and I believe the action flows much better now. Improvements...well I'll pretend I don't know what happens in the next five or so chapters. I think your emotional extremes could be more extreme--for example: when Kagome's teacher reveals he is a descendent of Sango and Miroku, I think, even though she's upset, Kagome would immediately try to find some aspect of her friends in her teacher. The devastation is there, but I think the addition of more of a sense of desperation would be very effective. I agree with a previous mention of your use of complex sentences; I don't think it will cause you problems for a while, but later when you get back into major action scenes the long sentences tend to bog the action down. Wonderful revisions, a very solid plot, and Yasha characters IN character all make for an enjoyable read. I can't wait to see your next round of edits!
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Reviewed By: Washuu Hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 08:34 CST
Comment/Review:
Wheeeeeeeeeeeee--what a treat, another new chapter!! Verrrrrry enjoyable. Awwww, poor Shippou, lil\\\' kawai-youkai! Thanks for answering my Q re: His ToadyBaddyness. ;) ::claps hands gleefully:: cool, more fun, mayhem and possible fluff to look fwd to in this journey? Oh, yeah. :) BTW, MM con't to make it difficult to review when not logged in, so bet there are plenty less persistent reviewers who would otherwise.
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Reviewed By: Washuu Hanyou [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2005 07:46 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
So marvelous, beginning w/the proverbial Big Bang. Hoping to see more *soon*. :)
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Reviewed By: chaos_kyes_fallen_angel [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2005 12:29 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
wow. o.o cant wait for the next chapter.
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Title: FFARG - Chapter 1
Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2005 21:00 CST
Comment/Review:
Well you have me hooked. ^_^ This is a great chapter and you've done very well setting the scene. The description of the last battle was well done and you seem to have much of the main cast in character from what I could read. The introduction of the teacher is well done also. Now for my suggestions. You have a tendancy to use complex sentences a lot. You may want to break them up a bit, especially in the action scenes to give things a greater sense of urgency. Secondly, for a little while I was confused as to how Kagome and Kikyo got down to the battle. I had understood that they were outside of it in a place of relative safety, yet I didn't see them reentering it, just firing their bows. The reason why I say this is because you have Kagome think "And I Dragged Kikyou into this" when I don't think she moved. But this could be me. As a non Inu Yasha fan, I really think you have the beginnings of a great story on your hands.
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Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2005 00:07 CST
Comment/Review:
I loved your chapter. It's a great introduction to a well thought out concept. I can already tell from just the first chapter what it is you're going to be focusing on in your story. A well thought out plot needs a good lead in and you've certainally covered that here. You keep the characters in character while tackling a difficult concept in the Inuyasha fandom, the final battle with Naraku. You definately give the reader a good look inside Kagome's mind over this situation. And you also spell out what it is you'll be focusing on in the story, the final battle, how it affected Kagome, and the discoveries made in that legend you mention. The reader is able to know what lies in store for them as any good introduction to a story does. Keep up the wonderful work. I look forward to seeing how this story progresses.
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Reviewed By: Rakuen-o-Sagasu [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2005 00:11 CST
Comment/Review:
your still gonna update right? right?!?!?! please do!!!
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Reviewed By: Inuyashas4ever [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2005 15:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed this first chapter! I hope you update soon!
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Reviewed By: alilangel [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2005 12:21 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really enjoy it so far. i can't wait to see what happens! please continue
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Reviewed By: spookeymelichan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 20, 2005 01:35 CST
Comment/Review:
I love the revisions you have done on this story! I liked the original chapter but this just flows so much better and I can really see how you have grown as a writter when you compare this chapter to the original. Your concept for this story is wonderful it's kinda what I always pictured in my mind would happen when Kagome finally did complete the jewel. Inuyasha's reaction to loseing kagome in the coming chapters were truely heart breaking in your original tale. I can't wait to see your revisions on those chapters as well. I think this is a wonderful story I look forward to seeing more of it!
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Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: March 19, 2005 22:45 CST
Comment/Review:
Great chapter! I love the revisions you've done to the story, and I hope this fic is successful for you! I can't wait to see more of it, and I'm honored to beta for JOO!
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