| "Bleeding Heart" Reviews/Comments [ 9 ] |
Title: Unimpressed
Reviewed By: YugureIko [MediaMiner Member] On: December 23, 2007 02:55 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
I know my numbers seem low but trust me, I have good reason for this. For starters, your grammer is a little hap-hazard and clunky. The majority of your story is very well written and easily enjoyable, however a single word throughout each chapter is ruining EVERYTHING. "Would". A lot of times, you use this word in sentences when it doesn't make gramatical sense, and even if it made perfect sense in every sentence you used it in, you still use the word entirely too much. If you do nothing else with your next chapter, try to write the entire thing without using 'would' a single time. Trust me, your writing will improve a thousand times over just by doing that. Also, try to proof your writing a bit. You have some errors with pronouns (I think in chapter two, you assign the pronoun, 'her', to Neji.) and other times you leave out words, and the tenses of your verbs tend to conflict every now and again. However, I did enjoy the story, despite your romances progressing a little faster than logical. I'm not trying to be mean. Honestly, you should take my advice. I want you to because this story has an unbelievable amount of potential if you just improve your writing some. And the best thing you can do with each chapter is improve upon the workings of the last. Thank you. *bows* love dani dude
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Reviewed By: Spikerix [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2007 20:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like the way the story's going, interesting and hot. But it let me frustrated! The fic' status says "Complete" and it isn't! Please don't give false information beforehand, since I one of those who avoid WIPs at all costs because of these kind of things.
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Reviewed By: Crys Chaos [MediaMiner Member] On: January 21, 2007 14:27 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very interesting, too bad that you aborted it, I'd really like to know what's happening next...
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Title: i love the story
Reviewed By: BrokenSoul [MediaMiner Member] On: October 04, 2006 17:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the plot! Won't you finish? Please?
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Reviewed By: PIGGYWONG On: September 14, 2005 18:51 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
This is great although i'm a bit surprised that Hinata would allow two different boys to kiss her - even when she's not sure about her feelings for either of them exactly. Anyways, I hope it ends up as a Neji x Hinata fic and please please update soon!
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Title: In the works
Reviewed By: Lotus Kajin [MediaMiner Member] On: August 07, 2005 21:16 CDT
Comment/Review:
Just to let everyone know I have been working on the 4th chapter for a while now. I did hit a bit of writers block there for a bit. I am working on it currently and I hope to have it up in the next few days if all goes according to plan. It seems things in this new chapter are getting pretty lemonie. =3 Thanks for the reviews everyone!
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Reviewed By: phoenixfirekitsune On: August 06, 2005 17:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
Please update this story soon. I rarely see this pairing and I love how you are portraying it. It is so interesting. Please update soon and keep up the good work.
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Reviewed By: **NN** On: April 25, 2005 11:47 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like this story alot. It's very interesting, and Neji is one of my favorite charas. Looking forward to an update. =)
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Reviewed By: brina-chan On: April 20, 2005 09:50 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Kyaaa!!!! This story is soooooo cute! Love it. Hina-chan is getting all the boys!! ^^
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