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| "Forget Me Not" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Title: 2nd Chapter
Reviewed By: blessed_love15 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2005 20:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
SoW: I laughed at the part when Shigure was waving a "Go Ayame" flag. However, this chapter seemed a bit rushed. There's not much imagry and the dialog seems choppy. Also, I have never seen Ayame blush... ever. He doesn't seem the type to be embaressed by his own mistakes. I did like, however, the part where Ayame is excited about Yuki not punching him as hard as he usually does. Very "Ayame-ish". Hatori seemed a bit out of character because he lost his cool several times. Other than that, it was good. Everything else is the same as what I wrote for the 1st chapter.
| Title: 1st Chapter
Reviewed By: blessed_love15 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2005 20:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
SoW: I love your style of writing. You don't patrenize (sc?) the reader by describing too much (i.e. "The lake was blue; there were lines in the brown wood of the trees; the leaves were green and textured; yada yada yada. We've seen the great out doors! Give it a rest!) *laughs* Nope, you didn't over describe or under describe. The perfect amount. I also like how a majority of the story is dialog, it helps with the flow of the plot. In addition, your subtle hints of Keiko are putting my inference skills to the test, which I'm enjoying. I love mysteries and the like. /*/*/*/*/ S.G: No mis-spelt words that I could see, and your sentence structures are good... except that in a couple places, there should be a comma where there is none and vise-versa. /*/*/*/*/ O/C:I don't think I have ever read a Furuba fanfic where Shigure has an almost completely forgotten twin siser. Very original indeed. /*/*/*/*/ EF: I'm enjoying this fic... what else is there to say? ^_^ /*/*/*/*/ O.R.: A 10. Why? The real question is: Why not? There's nothing wrong with "Forget Me Not" and it exceeds the average fanfic. Good job!
| Title: Neato!
Reviewed By: Teala On: June 10, 2005 10:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Oh my goodness, this was so funny! I REALLY hope you continue on this, i LOVE the Mudbachi trio, most of all Hatori, you portray all the chracters almost to the letter, all of their personalities fit! PLEASE keep writing on this!
| Reviewed By: Setosgal On: April 16, 2005 15:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is already turning into a great fan fic. In every story you always seem to some how improve your writing. Every thing was very well written and the grammar was good as well. Why was Shigure's mind erased and Ayame's? I hope to find out more about Hatori's past and who Keiko is. Please keep up the great work. Sincerely, Setosgal ;p
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