Reviewed By: The Reanimated Raynor [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2005 05:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
The premise of Shinji as Emperor of Japan, not to mention having all three of Shinji's closest females as his wives, was a promising one. That said, you haven't really done much with the idea. The fanfic is very cut off, and could be extended quite a lot before you wake Shinji up. I'm not sure how you managed to switch "were" with "where" every time, but you did, as well as switching up the "their, they're, there" homonyms. Unfortunately, a spellchecker won't help you in this case -- you'll just have to go through it and correct as you go. In addition, you don't use very many commas, and your writing style suffers because of it. Some sentences sound jerky and unnatural, they don't flow. All in all, the premise was promising but bad form killed it. I don't mean to insult, but I do want to point out what I see. I believe that this fic is salvageable if you put some work into it. The Reanimated Raynor
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