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| "Shadow the Hedgehog" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: FFRG review chap 3
Reviewed By: ElvinYouko [MediaMiner Member] On: October 31, 2005 12:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Since your post and chap 3 were on the same date, I assumed that was the chapter you wanted reviewed. Also, I do not know anything about the Sonic fandom, so I will just review generallities. The plot seems like it has good potential. You need to review and practice some basic grammar; remember, punctuation is your friend. Using contractions "didn't", etc, is frowned on. The chapter is a little short. Overall, I think that a good beta would fix the problems in thisfic. You just need someone to go over things specifically, word by word. There is a get-a-beta forum; I do not know how good it is, but you could check there. Overall, good job on an interesting; fix the mechanics and you're good to go.
| Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Rini Saiyan-jin [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2005 02:55 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well, here's what I think of the story... and I'm afraid I'll be blunt. Italics are yours: *flashback* (Don't use this in stories, it really distrupts the flow of the story, it is recommended that you use italics)Shadow:Maria, (I see that you have no space after colons in the rest of the chapter, it is also recommended that you put spaces after colons to make it easier for us to read.) Shadow:The same dream. That makes it 23 times this month. (It is not a good idea to use numbers, write them out) You also have the tendency to leave out apostrophes out of some words. I think that I would suggest that you get a beta reader because this has good potentional.
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