| "Dragon Ball VE: The Keeper Saga" Reviews/Comments [ 30 ] |
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Reviewed By: skiite [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 12:09 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, this is easily one of the best dbz fanfics ive ever read! Loved the description, especially with Vegeta and Kiddae. I agree with many others that that dirty h0 should die!
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Reviewed By: Shmoo741 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2005 18:29 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is great. I love that you strayed away from GT, since it really did suck. This a very original idea and the characters are still themselves. You're writing style is great, you very descriptive but not too much. This is defenitely one of the best DBZ fics I've ever read. Hope you continue soon.
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Title: Dragon Ball VE: The Keeper Saga
Reviewed By: shadow samuri [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2005 17:30 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love how u go away from GT and make a new story but still match up with DBZ u got all the characters down and how u use Bra the original name (because they call her bula in the english dubed) i thought it was great keep it up i want to know more.
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Title: FFARG review Ch2
Reviewed By: devildice708 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 10, 2005 19:20 EDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting this to FFARG. I have to admit, I don't read many DBZ fics but I most definitely found this one a joy to read. The fact that Vegeta made a wish to make Goku "smart" made me laugh. Plus, you kept everyone IC which is always a plus along with the descriptive style you've displayed in this. Really, I can't think of much to critique you on which is rare. All I can say is continue to improve on your writing style and continue to write well-written stories such as this one. Thanks again for submitting this to FFARG!
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Reviewed By: anja On: May 29, 2005 12:28 EDT
Comment/Review:
Waaaah! You can't stop there! No, you can't stop at all! hehe... I loove this story! Next chapter oin a few...??????? Please`` Pretty please? *Puppy eyes*
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Reviewed By: Anja On: May 23, 2005 13:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
Omg, I really love this story! I just HATE thoes stiry where Freeza rapes Vegeta, cause it always make me cry! It's sooo sad, poor poor veggie... :p Love your story, keep it up! Next chapter in a few...?
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Reviewed By: Johnnyjosh [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2005 21:12 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I read this in it's previous form, and loved it then, and I love it even more now! I want to see that nasty wench die an excruciating death! *growls* I loved Pan in this as well, *chuckles* always liked her.
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Title: review for chapters 4&5
Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2005 19:04 EDT
Comment/Review:
I loved the last line of this chapter. It made me start bouncing up and down chanting "Someone's gonna get it." The scene with Kiddae was extremely emotional and disturbing (but in the way it was intended). That wench needs to die, and die horribly and I look forward to seeing that happen. The time travel bit is right on. I love the idea that you are using quantum physics to explain what is going on. Well done there. I am looking forward to seeing the next part. Eventually you are going to have to translate what Bra and Gohan said in chapter 4. My Saiyasi is not that strong ~_^.
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Reviewed By: gaiafaye [MediaMiner Member] On: May 13, 2005 23:40 EDT
Comment/Review:
Well, I'm the beta, so I already told you what I think. But I shall repeat. Your characterization of Vegeta (be happy about my spelling) is good, as always. I'm really interested in the whole Shadow Ways and Gem Priest concepts, but I know you'll get more into that later. And, as I said before, Kiddae and the... eye thing... yikes. lol
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Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: futekioosha [MediaMiner Member] On: May 13, 2005 23:34 EDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting your work to FFARG. I would like to commend you on a solid start to what appears to be an extremely intriguing tale. You've managed to draw me into your storyline and leave me wanting to read more of your story at the chapter's end, which should be the goal of any first chapter in a fic. The dialogue and characterization of Vegatta are so on, and the reason behind making Goku OOC is very believable. I only noticed a couple of grammar errors which were probably an oversight on your part or your beta's. The first is located at the first scene shift when Vegetta comes down. Down from where? The second is a questionable pronoun. You write: [She looked over at Chi-Chi, meeting the other woman's eyes. She looked no older than twenty-five.]- Who is 'she' referring to in the second sentence? Those are the only two shaky regions I noticed in chapter. You have set the foundation for a strong, entertaining, well-written piece of fiction. Congratulations on having a great start for what looks like a very captivating story. ~futekioosha~
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Reviewed By: oznerol On: May 13, 2005 10:25 EDT
Comment/Review:
umm okay but is it just me or is completeing a time loop just so it will happen again seems kinda stupid. maybe its just me. will they change things or not guess ill have to read and find out, but i find this somewhat annoying read ya later. nice so far
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Reviewed By: Vejitalover [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2005 16:10 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Cool story so far. The interaction between Vegeta, Bra and Gohan is great. I love the way you are writing Vegeta's character (he's the best!) and how you are showing there is more to him than the facade he allows people to see. I have some ideas as to why the aliens want Bulma alive, but I don't know why they want Chi-Chi dead. The story seems familiar, but I can't remember what happens next. Zab - Did you have this posted somewhere else or using a different pen name? And to Mia - it's great to see you writing DBZ again... you've been missed. I hope you both finish this story and post more soon, cause I'm lovin' it! ~Gail~
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Reviewed By: oznerol On: May 05, 2005 19:27 EDT
Comment/Review:
alright now im confused (trust me its not a difficult task) waht is going on why continue the time loop why not change it whay does vegeta have a kid wi some alien threatening bulma no doubt. why chichi why iki well update soon or ill lose my mind
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Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: May 04, 2005 15:56 EDT
Comment/Review:
I'd Forgotten how much I enjoyed this story. I am really looking forward to seeing more. (Even though I do know what happens next). I am glad to see you posting over here on MM.O and screw the other site. *Hugs* It is nice to see you interested in writing again. ^_^
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Reviewed By: butterflyV On: May 03, 2005 20:45 EDT
Comment/Review:
It's a cool start, keep going. Any chance you could make Bra a fighter?
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