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| "Seemingly Insignificant" Reviews/Comments [ 9 ] | Reviewed By: Jesachi [MediaMiner Member] On: August 09, 2005 09:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
It was very good... I notice that you seem to have an excellent grasp of charcters that aren't really a big part of the story... even chacrters that are, you tend to bring them to life and analyze them very well!!! I'll send you and email! Cheers~ Jesachi angeÁ
| Title: ffarg stuffs
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2005 19:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
a name so commonly used that all I knew that I was Ginta, There might be a missing "was" here. "Seemingly Insignificant" is probably the best collection of shorts, I've read in a long time. With each new chapter, a new character with its own distinct voice springs to life with a fresh story to share. No chapter so far has been dull. For me, it was easy to get lost in the lull of your writing style. There were times when something was off, but they were few and far between. If you allow yourself more space instead of cramming tons of information into one sentence, this would be better off, I think. Overall, give yourself a hard pat on the back for a job well done.
| Title: Words from the asylum. Huzzah!
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2005 18:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
The regret, anger and despair overwhelmed my weak insect soul, hitting me the force of a tidal wave; There might be a missing "with" here. ACK. XD Ok. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! No more uncalled for beta-reading from me! I'm sorry! >_< Basically for chapter two, carefully re-read. There are some very slight errors here and there. (Hint: there's one just before the last line. >.>
| Title: Crazy ramblings from Dee
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2005 18:37 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
The writing style is very good; however, there were points where a lot of information was cramped into one sentence. At one point I think a sentence had two colons and numerous semi-colons strung together. Also, there were times when the writing was repetitive. I looked up to see one of my fellow farmers waving excitedly at me, and nearly tripping over his own feet in his enthusiasm to talk to me. And then later, "Hey, hey," he panted, finally coming to a stop in front of me. ; He flashed a bright smile at me before he began to speak. :-P Have faith in the intelligence of your readers. "The Villager" also had at least two spelling errors (mesmerisingly and indescribable). Oi. If you'll believe me, I actually thought that chapter one was a solid 8. It was really very good: interesting, great flow, and again the writing style was wonderful. Grammar and spelling weren't as big of a problem as I probably made them out to be earlier in this review. The character was also a good mix of good and bad traits. He looked down on people; however, he clearly loved his family and wished only for a better time. A final blessing before I end my crazy ramblings; may (more) inspiration swack you with a mallet.
| Reviewed By: Pure_Heart (nsi) On: July 19, 2005 10:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey, I really like your writing, but I was wondering if for one of the future chapters you could do the Soul Snatchers that Kikyo always has following her. I think it would be an interesting topic.
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Pahhur [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2005 00:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very nicely done, though I'm not used to first person perspective, I was comfortable with this. You're method of pulling the story out of bounds, then back in; making it seem like it could be any night in the seires, was well done. There might have been one or two grammer problems, but nothing too noticeable (otherwise I would have noticed it. Truthfully I'm not the one to talk about grammer, so you might want to ask someone else about this.) Anyway, thanks for submitting to FFARG. Hope to see you back with chapter four.
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: June 14, 2005 12:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting your fic to FFARG! It was a pleasure to read your second chapter. Your images were fantastic, and the story was a well-rounded one-shot. I've never seen that point of view before. Way to get creative, and create a story behind some characters that have never really been considered characters before! I have seen Kikyo's name spelled a few different ways, but never like that. I'm not an expert on it, so I can't say it's incorrect, but I do usually see it spelled as Kikyo, without the "i". But that is very trivial in comparison to the rest of the story. I could spot no major grammar flaws. This has obviously been looked over very carefully. Excellent use of diction, and your sentence structures flowed nicely. Overall, a great little one-shot. Keep up the good work!
| Title: KatieTakesFlight
Reviewed By: KatieTakesflight [MediaMiner Member] On: June 01, 2005 19:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, a very very interesting begining. You pull of the first person point of view very well, not an easy task (I know from trying and failing myself). Anyway, I look foward to reading more, the plot is developing nicely, this is definatly a fic which I intend to keep up with in the future. Just a side note, if you dont have a beta reader I would advise that you got one, there are a few easily noticable grammar errors here (not many but a few). :-) I look foward to reading more of this. keep up the good work.
| Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Kellen [MediaMiner Member] On: May 17, 2005 13:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
First of all that, that was an amazing story. The pov was fantastic; I was moved beyond words with some of the imagery presented and the fact that the main character was a simple farmer in a simple village (if somewhat jaded and cynical). He was a moving character, even in his derision for the simpleton and for Inuyasha and friends. There were a couple places though, where I got a little lost in grammar hangups. You seem to be a little ellipse and semi-colon happy. In many of the places you used these devices, a simple period and starting another sentence would have sufficed. In the second or third paragraph, where you describe the day, I'm not sure of the "legality" of using two full-stop colons in one sentence. One of those (the first I believe would be best) should just be a period and then another sentence starting. It's just my grammar nazi side coming out. :o) Overall, your story left me with a general heady sense of "whoa" and wishing I could write the imagery and feeling half as well as you did. I loved the obscure pov of the villager, his cynicism is perfectly believable, as is his rage. You've done well, and I was very happy I chose this story to review. It's very unique and well-written.
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