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| "Slayers NIBUNNOICHI" Reviews/Comments [ 27 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: WufeiNeko [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2002 18:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm only to chapter three and you've got me scared. But, it's really well written thus far. I'll finish reading it when I can. Nice job. Fanboy. I'm impressed. | Reviewed By: Troy Thomas [MediaMiner Member] On: March 18, 2002 16:32 CST
Comment/Review:
Hello, it's me again. Again, my comments are only my opinions. Anything you like, feel free to use. Anything else, promptly ignore.
Troy Thomas
***
>He'd spend most of the last millenium deciding what to take with Him, and what to leave behind.
He spent most of the last millenium...
Also, who does the He refer to in this particular sentence? It can either be 'Jusenkyou' or 'His friend', since the subject 'He' isn't identified.
>Jusenkyou leaned in close. "I always wanted to ask You.... Why did You ever decided to date Him?"
>
Why did You ever decide to date him?
>Lina sighed. "I don't."
>
What kind of sigh is this? As a description on its own, 'Lina sighed' is a bit weak. Examples of what I mean include 'Lina patiently sighed.' and 'Lina sighed in annoyance.'
>"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
>
This is way out of its line wrap.
***
It's a fun romp, so far. I wonder what's to happen next? | Reviewed By: Troy Thomas [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2002 20:15 CST
Comment/Review:
>Once upon a time, there were two gods who decided to become roommates because They were fed up with the obscenely high rents in the only available dimensions...
>
Uh oh, not a 'Once upon a time' story... Oh course, I'd rather be shown these two gods being 'fed up with the obscenely high rents' than be told be told that's what happened.
But you do that anyway, so I'll only comment on the 'Once upon a time'... It's very original, fanboy... ;p
>Maybe that isn't the best way to start it. Maybe it's the only way. I really can't explain _what_, exactly, these two gods agreed to on that 'afternoon', any more than I could explain this computer to a butterfly. As long as you accept that anything and everything in this story is simply a metaphor so your poor heads won't explode trying to comprehend the infinite, you'll do just fine.
>
And we're still trying to find that blasted butterflly... but not so we can explain this computer though. We're just sick of all these damn storms. ^_^
Anyway, I didn't find too much to comment on in this chapter. I am definately looking forward to how your plot device actually unfolds.
Troy | Reviewed By: revie On: March 07, 2002 06:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, you've got a new fan! For some reason, I was drawn to the prologue...VERY original. The fanfic is dynamic, least I can say, and best of all-coming from an novice critic-it's got what people who have a lot of time on their hands(like me) want most: perfect character placement! | Reviewed By: Adyen On: February 20, 2002 11:28 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Short time, but this is GREAT! Keep writing and I'll keep reading! | Reviewed By: Oz the Great and Sickly On: February 04, 2002 20:00 CST
Comment/Review:
OH MY GOD! I'm DONE!!! Now you'll get your laptop back, and then I'll have to PRE-READ, but I'm caught up!!
I do have a bitch about this chapter: You're paragraphs are too damned short. The transitions are good, but it's like one sentance: Next paragraph. It's sorta annoying. Not annoying enough to make me stop reading, so your still stuck with me. ^_6
This chapter was a little more serious than the previous ones, but I like it better this way. It adds depth to your characters, and gives the story a better feel too it. ^_6
-Duecy, the Great and Sickly. *cough* | Reviewed By: Id On: February 04, 2002 17:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Let's just see you guess who this is. Not that I haven't reviewed it *counts* seven times already...
Okay, I lied. I got through part the seventh, but when I replied, you were on, and then you weren't, and by the time you get back on again, you'll read this review, which makes no goddamned sense whatsoever. So sue me, I'm still sick. *sneeze*
I've raved and raved about the keys, I like 'em, you know it.
I also liked Sasuke's story. I was a little curious as to what truth he didn't accept in the Inconviencing, but it's no big deal if I don't find out what it is. I also like Kodachi and Naga, and I'm thankful you didn't make them into a yuri sex-fest. ^_^ Glad to see you value characterization above your own perverted tendencies.
Lina and Genma were also fantastic, and I liked how you *not-so* subtly pointd out that Genma had been angsting lately. It made good use of your earlier foreshadowing. | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades On: January 29, 2002 21:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Style: Yeah, you got so much style, I can feel it through the web. You damn cool.
Not really, but I had to say something. ^_^ It's part of the subtle sympathy package.
Mechanics: Nothing big, it's just that I noticed that sometimes your I's were lower case. No big deal.
Originality: I loved Kuno being part of Order (musn't forget to capitilize, after all.) I also loved the eating contest between Lina and Ranma. And as usual, I love the Keys. It's quite possibly the best thing about this whole fic. (Not that it's lacking in competition mind you.)
Enjoyment: Yeah, I still like it. You can tell. I said I'd review it tonight, and (gasp) I did.
Overall: Still a 10. yeah, you got one nine, but I don't think that warrents a lower overall score.
What I can't believe is that more people haven't read this yet.
YOU"RE ALL LAZY BUMS! ALL OF YOU! | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades [MediaMiner Member] On: January 22, 2002 00:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
ANd the score across the bored is 10.0, 10.0, 10.0, 10.0, and 10.0 (So sue me. I'm getting ready to watch the Olympics.)
The goloms crack me up, as does Ryoga's attempts to remain depressed.
BUT! My favorite part? Absolute favorite? Xelloss' condition. Xelloss stating 'Golly Gee Whiz' had me laughing so hard, I nearly fell out of my chair.
Of course, that could be from the mental image of him wearing that hat that Gomer Pyle wore in Mayberry. *snorts* | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades On: January 16, 2002 23:47 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Style: Yeah. 10. Again. Don't you get tired of these things?
Mechanics: That number after 9, before 11. No mistakes gets that number.
Originality: Yep. Still original.
Enjoyment: Since you bitched last time, and accused me of leching for not discussing what I thought was funny, I'll make sure to appease you this time. ^_^
Lina and Gourry interacting. I happen to be a huge Lina/Gourry fan, and it's nice to see that even with your warped sense of humor, they can have their moments. Rare as those moments might be, mind you.
Lina making that connection between Amelia and Naga, even if it is unintentional (and I don't know if that connection goes deeper than a resemblance in her mind just yet, I'll have to read more to find out)
And the Gods. Sea of Chaos, and Jusenkyou still crack me up.
There we go! | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades On: January 15, 2002 00:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Perfect 10s boyo. Maybe it's the fact that my contacts are getting ready to slip out, but I don't think I saw anything wrong.
And you know I would tell you if something was wrong. ^_^
-Duece | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2002 15:37 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Style: 10. Again. I'm not repeating myself.
Mechanics: See above.
Originality: Yeah. Same thing.
Enjoyment: *sweats* Heh. Until this fic, I hadn't heard of Herb, Mint, or Lime...but that's not your fault. So you still get a 10.
Overall: See aboves.
All I'm going to say 1.) Poor Ryoga....
and 2.) YES!! You have LUNA! I love Luna, although she's never in the series. Anyone who is able to scare the bejesus out of Lina gets an A+ in my book. | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2002 00:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Style: ^_^ You didn't switch on us this time. All good. If you want me to nitpick, well, I did, and I CAN'T find anything to nitpick about.
Mechanics: Couldn't find any mistakes if there were some.
Originality: KEYS?????? FLIPPING KEYS? AH...my dear fanboy...I luv ya. ^_^ Stroke of brilliance. And I love that reference to LotR. And that reference to 'The Nature of Objects' though I have a strong suspicion that was unintentional.
Enjoyment: I still like it. Both Gods are grand fun to watch, and I can't wait to read the part where Lina and Ranma meet.
Overall: Still a 10. yup yup. ^_^
I know I said I'd try to get part two done tonight...but....I'm tired....and require sleep. Till next meeting, boyo. | Reviewed By: Duece of Spades [MediaMiner Member] On: January 07, 2002 23:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dammit...stupid browser closed out on me..have to write it alllll over again.
Style: I liked it, but it seemed to switch in the middle. From first person POV with an unseen narrator to third person? Was this intentional?
Mechanics: Groovy baby. Perfect 10. Loved the landing.
Originality: I have seen Slayers/Ranma X-overs, but frankly, that one was somewhat...stupid. This isn't. Course, I have yet to see Lina and Ranma actually interact, so that could change. Bwa haw haw.
Enjoyment: So far so good. It's keeping my interest. ^_^
Overall: Insert what I said about FY here. ^_^
Only other thing I want to comment on was your use of 'finite comprehending the infinite' and that's only because I use that all the time. ^_^ Only because it's impossible. Thumbs up. | Reviewed By: D-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2002 19:55 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow! A Slayers/Ranma fic - that's a new one! I really like what I've read so far, though.
Style of Writing: Funny and sarcastic - making this a very enjoyable read.
Spelling & Grammar: Very good!
Originality/Creativity: I couldn't find anything that wasn't original. This fic is very unique!
Enjoyment: Great read!
Overall: A 10. I couldn't give anything lower!
~D-chan
Email: AlloraColleen@aol.com | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
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