|
| "Aftermath" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: This is the end?
Reviewed By: Spirit Bagel of Death [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2005 14:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Way to go. This story, though relatively plot-hollow, had the intensity and the unabashedness to carry it off. I do, however, think you need to consider Kurama's character much more. I've been thinking about it, and he really is what is wrong with this entire picture. You portray him as uncontrollable, voracious, clumsy, and absent minded. He is none of these things. In fact, he is the opposite, most of the time. That, to me, is the appeal of his character. Also, and I realize authors' opinions vary on this point, I believe that the only way a threesome between these three could work would be if Kurama was the center of Yusuke and Hiei's desire. Hiei and Yusuke are simply too alike to be able to carry off a deep, loving relationship. I think they would clash and end up killing eachother. Eugh. Okay, have I brought you down enough? Now, the things I really liked in this chapter was how Kuwabara and Keiko acted. You certainly do have a talent for painting in supporting characters just so. I encourage you to write more, and do everything you can to improve yourself. That's why we all put ourselves through this torture, right? ; )
| Title: Hmmm
Reviewed By: Spirit Bagel of Death [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2005 14:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hmmmm...interesting. Those last two chapters bored me for a while, I'm sorry to say. I'm just not that into fluff. But I really liked how in character Atsuko was, and the funny jokes she made about Yusuke. It would've been so dumb to make her homophobic, especially since in like the third episode she was hanging out with a couple of trannys. Um...Shiori's weird. I don't think she'd take it that well, but I guess it's fair since she never questions where Shuichi goes and stuff, and we know hardly anything about her. Your writing style was great, as usual. I can't believe this story has only three reviews, my last one included. I would like to know, however...where is this all going? It seems like you've fallen into a pattern...fuck, and tell, fuck and tell...oh well. (wow...rhymes) Update swiftly please.
| Reviewed By: Neko Of The Dark [MediaMiner Member] On: June 12, 2005 14:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really liked it! it was so cute! ^^ i've never really thought of the idea Kurama,Hiei and Yusuke together... i mean i've seen other people with fanfics like this, but they make Hiei to lovey dovey and stuff like that. and make the characters diffrent than what they are supposed to act like. but yours, you put it all together, and gave a good reason for Yusuke to not be with Keiko. well done job! ^_^ can't wait for the rest!
| Reviewed By: tsujita_91 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 09, 2005 11:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like it!!! they're so cute! It makes me say 'AWWWWW' a lot.
| Title: ...eh...
Reviewed By: Spirit Bagel of Death [MediaMiner Member] On: June 08, 2005 11:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
The sex scene was extremely hot, but I think pretty much EVERYONE except Kuwabara and Keiko was WAY ooc. Kurama was too seductive, Hiei too confident, and Yusuke too wimpy. And yet, still, I couldn't keep my eyes off of it. There was just something there.
|
|
|
