| "Fugue" Reviews/Comments [ 21 ] |
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Reviewed By: Last Knight Thomas [MediaMiner Member] On: June 26, 2005 23:59 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice story! I like your writing style- Its casual, and easy to read. Interesting story, too. Its a nice twist to Nabiki's character to find out that she's not truly supporting the family. It makes her... Well, actually, I think it makes me a bit less sympathetic to ger cause. Still, this fanfic's interesting. I can't beleive she figured out Ryoga! ...Then again, that isn't exactly hard. Bah, I'm babbling. Nice story. Your first chapter doesn't really meld very well with the rest of the fic, though... maybe you should combine it with chapter 2? Just a thought. Other than that, congrats on writing a good, easy to understand, entertaining story.
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Reviewed By: Innortal [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2005 17:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I must say you are drawing out the tnsion quite well. I look forward to seeing what you have happen next. Innortal
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Reviewed By: archphoenix [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2005 02:13 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
That's quite intriguing... What the hell is she doing with money?!?!?! Pls, update sooner
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Reviewed By: Lerris On: June 17, 2005 00:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is good so far, but the reason is still unclear. I guess we shall have to wait and see.
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Title: FFARG Ch1
Reviewed By: Sidhe (Sisi) On: June 16, 2005 16:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
In your first paragraph you could have a slight description of who was at the window before you said Ranma. But you don't *really* need to put it in there. When Ranma says: "It's obvious, isn't it?" Those two paragraphs should either be one paragraph or you need to add in something like "He fidgeted or he nervously scratched the side of his face." I love how Nabiki handled that. It was done very well. Overall you have excellent grammar and wonderful wording. It's a very good story but if you perhaps described more on 'what' had happened at the wedding to begin with it wouldn't come as such a surprise that Nabiki had sabotaged it. I enjoyed this.
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Reviewed By: Innortal [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2005 01:14 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well done, a nice approach. Keep writing. Innortal
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