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| "The More Things Stay The Same" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Title: I love this story
Reviewed By: Woobaby [MediaMiner Member] On: August 03, 2005 16:48 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think this fan fic is great! I love the scene where Inuyasha is drunk!!! I also got so emotional when Inuyasha read the letter! I totally feel for Kagome, I know what it is like to be disappointed by the ones you love. So she stood up for herself and tried to protect herself from further hurt. I can't blame her for that. Too bad Inuyasha messed up, but I think he will be able to prove to Kagome just how much he loves her!!!
| Title: FFARG review chapter 1
Reviewed By: Sari-15 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 26, 2005 10:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for your submission to FFARG. This is an interesting start to your story. I enjoyed how you kept everything in the canon world, changing what you needed to suit your story. The strength of your writing really didn't stay consistent though this chapter though. Places like where she gave him the letter were exceptionally strong with detail and description while their argument about dinner was lacking the point of view detail from the character it was from. Throughout the chapter, I didn't feel a strong sense of consistant POV, there were times that you switched it too often...refusing to stay in one characters for very long. For instance...you went in Kikyous for one line of speech. Try to make a concious effort of knowing who\'s POV you are in...and using that to your advantage. For instance during the first argument, if you stay in Kagome's POV...the irritation should be brought to life by what she does during that time, even little things like balling her hands in frustration, internal thought about how SHE perceives InuYasha is reacting to the situation, her feelings inside when he does say things to her. Use the POV to your advantage...it will make stepping into the characters shoes that much easier for the reader. One thing that really drew me out of the story was a big POV change during an InuYasha flashback. He would never know things through Kagome's POV. Thought should be done as 'xxx' to distinguish it from dialogue. Thanks for submitting.
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2005 11:21 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
just found your story, it is very interesting. love how things had been progressing then because of a misunderstanding went backwards also like how things are starting to proceed forward again. poor inuyasha is going through puperity it would seem. i can't believe you haven't recieved more reviews, it is very well writing and has a great plot. i truly hope you continue with your story! i'll be putting this one on my fav's, will be holding on till your next update. littleolmee
| Reviewed By: InuGrrrl [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2005 13:11 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
So far i'm liking this -I eagerly await new chaps!
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: June 15, 2005 01:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you for submitting your story to FFARG! I read through your first chapter, since you didn\'t specify which chapter to review, and we generally only review one chapter at a time. Over all, the chapter was very well done. One thing that could use some work, though, is where Inuyasha is thinking to himself. This paragraph seemed very mushed together, and somewhat out of place. Perhaps you could make it more like an inner dialogue with himself. As is, it seems rather confusing, and not as sophisticated or well done as the rest of the chapter. There are still some minor mistakes as far as punctuation and grammar go. For example: \"and sleeping out of doors in impending winter is not something that two ladies; including my betrothed, and a young kitsune should have to abide\" your punctuation could use some work. The semi-colon doesn\'t belong. It should be a comma. If you don\'t already have a beta (someone to read over your work who is accomplished with grammar and the like) I highly advise you get one. Even the best of the best have editors. Every writer should have some form of a Beta. NOw, all that aside, I loved this first chapter. It was interesting, flowed well, and I especially loved the moth allusion. I don\'t know why, it just struck me. Your plot is off to a wonderful start, and I definatley want to read more! Great job, and again...thanks for submitting!
| Reviewed By: Shinobi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 05, 2005 04:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really like this story. I wonder how everything will turn out. Keep up the great work ^__^
| Reviewed By: w_j [MediaMiner Member] On: June 04, 2005 15:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like your story so far. I hope you add chapters soon. Thanks!
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