| "The Young Ones" Reviews/Comments [ 13 ] |
Reviewed By: anonymous On: January 25, 2002 19:15 CST
Comment/Review:
cliffhangers?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! wait the rest of the story is written already phew.here take this incase of more evil laughing *gives author invisible asma inhaler* who cares if u dont have asma i dont an i use an *invisible* one all the time when i laugh evilly. were there u go ***great story*** they act like like actual kids in it. THEY JOKE!!! YAY!!!! ^^' |
Reviewed By: ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! On: January 09, 2002 17:52 CST
Comment/Review:
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!NO!!!!!!!!CLIFFHANGER!!! PLEASE write more soon.i can't wait!*-* awsome fic! |
Reviewed By: anonymous On: January 06, 2002 19:11 CST
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaze write more.soon (very soon if possible. its really good ^^' |
Reviewed By: Meis On: January 06, 2002 06:36 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
It was a good chapter but like usual there is a certain way to keep someone from dying .Those beans heal any thing and like on Final Fantasy They could just use a pheniox down or life spell. |
Reviewed By: Claire On: January 05, 2002 17:24 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i think that Nat will live.
like that nick will come in and give her a kiss cuz the doc tells them that she's gunna die and she wakes up and is fine after nick kisses her or something like that i really like your story, i'm not getting the whole play with Lin yet but i'm sure that it'll be explained later or whatever. well hurry up i want to read the rest of the story! VERY GOOD FIC! |
Reviewed By: Allie Zorn [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2002 08:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm a big fan of both "What Can I Do To Make You Love Me" and "The Young Ones," but there are some things you could do to improve them. All the aspects of your writing just need to be more pronounced. First of all, you don't really have a writing style. All the sentences are simple, loose sentences. Some variety would really keep people's interest more. Also, a lot more needs to be explained. Don't sacrifice plot and explanation so you can get the next chapter out quickly. Writing takes time. There was a lot I didn't understand in the London chapter that could be cleared up with a few more sentences. How exactly did Natalie get shot? And what was the argument at the gas station between Natalie and Nicholas was about? Also, there's very little character development. We Buffy fans already know Nicholas, but what about the rest of the cast? Some insight into these characters would really help us get closer to them and into the story more. Your spelling is pretty good with the odd mistake now and then, and your grammar isn't too bad. A beta reader that knows grammar well could help you out, though. I absolutely love the actual story and plot. A little more insight about the people Lindsey is working for could be useful. Overall, I enjoy this fic tremendously. I personally am a fan of longer and more satisfying chapters, but I do think this fic needs more explanation. Overall I would recommend it to others and hope that my suggestions have helped you. Keep up the good work.
Allie Zorn
alliezorn@yahoo.com |
Reviewed By: Meis On: January 03, 2002 10:58 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Took you long enough |
Reviewed By: AngelKali02 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2002 16:30 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
ah! you have to write more! *pleads with big puppy dog eyes* |
Reviewed By: Meis [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2001 21:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great chapter hurry and get the next one out (6). |
Reviewed By: Meis [MediaMiner Member] On: December 22, 2001 15:11 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hurry and get the next part out! |
Reviewed By: Meis On: December 20, 2001 14:13 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great chapter , I liked the part about Goten. well i dont know what will happen next but hurry and get the next chapter out. |
Reviewed By: Meis On: December 18, 2001 18:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry I just checked the site today(hence the title) So I guess you took my advice huh well its great so far hopefully it will be as good as your first one. |
Reviewed By: majinsk8rvegeta [MediaMiner Member] On: December 16, 2001 21:55 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
How could you do that to Gohan and Videl!! Jeezus!! Well, keep on da good work,kay? |
