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| "Ganondorf vs. Green Goblin" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: FFARG review
Reviewed By: devildice708 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2005 03:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is an interesting piece to say the very least. Green Goblin and Ganondorf were in character to me and it was a bit of a surprise that Link was talking. Now while the story was good, the punctuation wasn't. You seem to have a habit of doing this..."Shut up," Link said,....instead of a comma after said there should be a period. Also, I suggest adjusting the spacing format of this piece. It's a strain on the eyes and may drive some readers away. Finally, might I suggest finding a good beta-reader or two. This is already a great piece of fanfiction, but with some polishing it can be even better. Thanks again for submitting this FFARG.
| Reviewed By: Last Knight Thomas [MediaMiner Member] On: June 26, 2005 23:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice story! The idea of a Zelda/Spiderman crossover's quite creative! I'm kind wondering what gave you the idea for it. ^-^ There were a few slight errors, though, but that can be easily fixed if you have someone read over your writing. They're mostly grammar and spelling errors. Also, the fight scene at the castle, it seemed slight repetitive. A tip my 9th Lit teacher taught me- Don't start a sentence with the same word over and over. Other than that, I couldn't help but notice a few instance where Ganondorf seemed out of character. I mean, when the Green Goblin went and left the Triforce alone, I would have thought Ganon/Ganondorf would have made a run for the Triforce. Also, back at the fight at the castle, what happened to the other guards besides the ones Green Goblin vaporized? I remember there being lots more than those few. Last thing I gound odd- Why would Malon have died from the fall from the building, if she never hit the ground? I jsut can't see her dying right there... Other than that, great story, mate. The Ganondorf VS. Green Goblin battle was quite interesting, and the whole story was a nice, creative crossover. I hope your writing continues; you could be a good writer once you've developed your literary style a bit. Good luck!
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