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| "So This Is Christmas (MM fanfic contest)" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: WOW!!!!
Reviewed By: AngelWingAsh [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2003 10:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
AWA- WOW!!!!!! I wish I had better writing...
Ayako and Yoshiko- O.o;
Crystal- I thought you were gonna have the ARL-Online site to host mostly the GW, Crossovers an-
AWA- OKAY!!! I got it... *phew!* Very very sweet! Oh, yeah. ARL Online is not avbailable yet... (it will be availiable soon... I hope.) Well done and ja ne! | Reviewed By: Ekimozo [MediaMiner Member] On: August 03, 2003 01:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was soo sad!!!:(*sniff, sniff* | Reviewed By: Lady Macbeth [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2001 22:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is an intriguing fic, and I could feel through Syaoran's inner thoughts how miserable his Christmases really are. I may be a bit biased, because Syaoran is one of my favorite characters on CCS, and I'm a total Syaoran/Sakura 'shipper, but it was nearly tear-jerking that the only bright point in his life was his time with Sakura and the others, and that his family was trying to smudge out that bright point by cutting off his outside contact.
The style of writing is a bit hard to read through; the large, block paragraphs sometimes made it hard to keep track of the pace, and I had to go back and re-read a couple of sentences in the larger ones to keep track. The descriptiveness helped counter that, though, by giving a mental picture to help follow along.
There were a couple of places where I mentally "tripped" on the writing. This usually happens because of misspelled words or hard grammar errors. It seems that I remember at least a couple places where there were problems. If you'd like, I can go over it with my magic red font and forward it on to you; I can't remember at the moment exactly what they were. -_-;
There seems to be no problems with Originality/Creativity in this fic, save possibly for a tiny lacking in detail - while you gave a lot of care to Syaoran's thoughts, it seemed as if he felt stifled even in his thinking. If that was the intent, I regress, because it came through. If it wasn't, perhaps breaking down the paragraphs, or rearranging them chronologically by his memories a bit more would help. It got a little tedious at times because sometimes it seemed as if his thoughts were "dragging".
I had fun reading this, nonetheless. Syaoran is a character that a lot of CCS fans overlook, and his character is just as intriguing and deep as some of the others. It's a nice look at what may be some of his motivations and emotions in life. It's especially angsty because of how his family squelched the happiest time of year for him at an early age and that restriction has carried forward through the rest of his life.
Overall, it was an enjoyable read that only needs a little tweaking. :) |
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