| "Part-Time Dad" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: Black Wren [MediaMiner Member] On: June 30, 2005 00:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
Why do I feel cheated? It was so fast and it barely counted as a set up. This is very thin, very fast, and very unsatisfying but you put enough in to make me hope for the next chapter. You know, try separating the flashback scene with: ************flashback*********** *************present************ Or something along those lines instead of the: flashback end Which can lead to confusion if not careful. We have the pity party thing going on. "How could he do this to me?" Now understand those feelings for ditching her, but for getting her with child? My thoughts are, "Did he rape you? No? Then it's partially your fault too so don't go laying it all at his feet." I have a strong sense of fair play. I'm not reticuling actually this is me being responsive to what is going on in the story and a good sign that I'm interesting to see where it goes.
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Reviewed By: dbzgurl_34 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2005 03:41 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Cool story. Hope you keep up with, i would like to know what happen between inuyash and kagome to make her go to koga. So ya keep goin with this story!!!
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Reviewed By: Cambee On: June 27, 2005 00:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
its cute so far but i feel so bad for kagome stupid koga ! please update as soon as u can !
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