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I really liked that! It shows a lot of promise, but the dialogue feels a bit forced, and the pacing could use some tightening. Cutting down on repetition and polishing the writing would make it more captivating.
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I really liked that! It shows a lot of promise, but the dialogue feels a bit forced, and the pacing could use some tightening. Cutting down on repetition and polishing the writing would make it more captivating.