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| "Facets of the Living Jewel" Reviews/Comments [ 534 ] | | Pages (36): [ « ‹ 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 ] | Title: The daemon made you do it huh?
Reviewed By: StupidLoserFantasyINC On: November 06, 2005 08:08 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved it! That was really original! You had a very unnoticable amount of gramatical error but I'm the kind of person that actually looks at the stuff so don't worry about it! And you're Latin! Do you speak it or did you find those on the internet somewhere? Well great job I hope you continue soon
| Reviewed By: misticknight2002 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 06, 2005 01:24 PST
Comment/Review:
Another great chapter. I wish I had your kind of insperation right now, I have atleast 3 stories I have been trying to write and I have run into blocks on all 3. The biggest problem has been my computer, it keeps crashing on me. I do have to say that for awhile this chapter had me a little confused, but I managed to figure out where you were going with it later on. My biggest question is: was it Kagome who brought Inuyashas' three sides together or did he do that himself? or mabey they did it together????? GAH!! now I'm confuseing myself, oh well, keep up the good work.^-^
| Reviewed By: Neracio On: November 04, 2005 14:05 PST
Comment/Review:
This is an amazing fic. I love all your ideas! i have a question, though: does kagome's dad get any help in the 4th diminsion?(I call the time-travel place in the well the 4th dimension) Like, a few years in kagome's future, another teen falls down the well and is supposed to train with kagome's dad with the Nexus and helps kagome and all them? Great story. PS: my FF.n name is Neracio.
| Title: FFRG Review: Prologue
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: November 03, 2005 13:43 PST
Comment/Review:
Hi, and thank you for submitting to FFRG. First thing I noticed was the distracting use of brackets and other such things, and while you provided a key for it, using it in the realm of writing tends to be grating and lends itself to a convoluted, hard to read format. If you were to simply put single quotes around the text and italicize it, it would still come across as you intended without being so intrusive. Give the impression that the characters are telepathically speaking through action, thus alleviating the need for your 'key'… You might find that this will not only strengthen your overall characterization, but will also give a more cohesive feel to your prologue. You may also want to change your Chapter number selection to Prologue, thus it will not affect your later numbered chapters (Try the chapter manager for this option- the page where you uploaded the chapter.) Try not to use capital letters to emphasize words. Italics work better and look cleaner. As for your summary, I had to read it a few times for it to make complete sense. Perhaps rewording it would be to your advantage. Your chapter is good; your grammar and spelling is meticulous. Overall, the Prologue is strong, but watch out, please, as your style tends to lean toward the "tell", and at times loses sight of the "show" part. Dialogue is strong, and I think you have an excellent start! Keep up the great work, and thanks again for submitting to FFRG!
| Reviewed By: ~ME On: November 02, 2005 19:00 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Amazing story!! Just love it! So well-written--a refreshing change ^_^ Love the original ideas/take on everything--gives everything a new twist that kinda makes you go 'hmmmmmmmmmmmm....' in a great way. Keep up the fantastic work--can't wait to find out what Inuyasha and Kagome have been up to...all alone....in the past.
| Reviewed By: misticknight2002 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 02, 2005 01:44 PST
Comment/Review:
another marvolous set. I love how this story is coming along, simply amazing. When will you have a kag/inu lemon? I hope it's soon. It's also fun trying to figure out what the latin words mean before the end of the chapter. I hope you don't mind, but I've been copying them to a seperate file, I like useing them on my friends. I can't wait for the next chapter, keep writing.
| Title: FFARG Review Chapter Six
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: October 28, 2005 23:12 PDT
Comment/Review:
Ah, thank you for submitting your fic to FFARG! This has been a lovely read. You should be proud. I found no grammar mistakes! (This could be because I'm tired, but it is probably because you did a great job!) Truly, though, I like the way you have the chapter set up. It's visual, shows a sensitive side to the characters, and gets into the feelings of each. I especially like how you show Kagome's frustration and unwillingness to share it with Inuyasha. Well written. I can perhaps only offer one bit of encouragement/advice and that is to say that while your sentences are well placed and pieced together, they would flow more smoothly if they were so short and choppy. Now, not all of them are like this. Most of them are grand. However, toward the beginning, they were a bit choppy and abrupt in action...almost like staggering through the paragraphs. But this can be easily fixed, and isn't even neccesary! Your story is great, and keep up the good work!
| Reviewed By: misticknight2002 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 25, 2005 15:31 PDT
Comment/Review:
This fic is simply amazing. I love it. Please update as soon as possible.
| Reviewed By: Scyggy [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2005 20:11 PDT
Comment/Review:
Most excellent. I have to say, the most original Inuyasha fic I've seen to date, and on top of that, you seem to really know what you're talking about, both in martial arts and romance(to my un-trained eye, at least). I can't wait to see more, though I do so patiently.
| Reviewed By: SevenStar [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2005 07:24 PDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love the origial storyline. There are several ideas of who, what and why he is not there. Your's is a first with him a "Time Lord". Can't wait to read the next.
| Reviewed By: Azelle [MediaMiner Member] On: October 19, 2005 10:12 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You're creating a very awesome and original story. Seriously, you've got one of the best plots I've seen in a while, although having Kagome's father possessing temporal powers is a bit... odd. Not in a bad way, mind you, but different. It kind of reminds me of Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time with the mother and father being genius scientists working on tesseracts. Can't wait for more!
| Reviewed By: Eartha [MediaMiner Member] On: October 17, 2005 21:04 PDT
Comment/Review:
Hmmm...interesting idea. So, Kagome's father is a time demon and she has some of his traits? Is that what is going on? And, why are you leaving shippo behind? That's kind of sad for the poor kit. Well, I can't wait to see this story's plot unravel. Keep it up!!
| Reviewed By: shatter the sky comes quietly On: October 13, 2005 21:34 PDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, this is such a refreshing change on the dynamics of the Inu-gumi! Way to go! Hope you update soon!
| Reviewed By: inu fan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 13, 2005 14:31 PDT
Comment/Review:
I like this story a lot! I've always been a slight fan of Demon Inuyasha and I'm glad that Inuyasha agreed to give him the full moon. This story is great and I hope you continue!!! Also, I really how he has Kagome submit to him! ;) Darn Kouga always ruins everything!
| Title: review
Reviewed By: titina On: October 13, 2005 07:07 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
konnichiwa please continue i want to find out what happens.anyway, everything was cool. there was aa little bit of OOC-ness but it was still good:) by the way... WHERE IS THE ONE AND ONLY SESSHOMARU? HE IS SOOO HOT.
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