/ ❯ Temptation Waits ❯ Barney and Friends! ( Chapter 2 )
DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…
A/N - WOW! I never dreamed I'd get that many reviews for this fic…well I did dream I just never thought that it would happen. Yay! Happiness for Lena…I mean Vegeta Goddess!
Since everyone was so eager to read the next chapter I started writing it straight away! Thanks guys and don't forget to review again!
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"OK, lets be calm and logical about this." Bulma took a deep breath, "Your going into saiyan mating season?"
"Yes." Vegeta shifted his weight in his chair and averted his eyes,
"And that means…?"
"That means woman that I am going into…well…heat." Bulma gave him a blank look, " It means I need to mate, woman! To have sex!" Vegeta stared at the far wall,
"Oooooh…like a cat?" Bulma's eyes widened, "That isn't good is it?"
Vegeta restrained from answering, "Your doing this purposely aren't you? You knew what I meant!" He growled at her quietly.
Bulma widened her eyes and tried to look innocent, "Me? Never…well ok I was, but I'll stop. So you need to have sex with someone? How long does it last for?" She lent closer to him, "A week? Two weeks?"
"Until I get laid." Vegeta edged away, "And since you're the only woman here, it means that sooner or later…"
Bulma leapt up from where she had been sitting and bolted to the other side of the room, "I am NOT going to sleep with you, Vegeta!"
"Woman…"
"No!"
"Woman…"
"I said no!"
"But I wasn't…"
"Don't you look at me like that!"
"Like what?" Vegeta looked confused.
"You gave me this sleazy and…and…come hither look!"
"No I didn't!"
"You did it again! You did it again!" Bulma hysterically opened the door to the main chamber and bolted in, "You stay away from me until you learn how to not look suggestive!"
Vegeta stood up and followed her, an irritated look etched on his face, "All I was going to say was that sooner or later something will happen between us."
"Oh no it wont!" Bulma glared at him and kept a console between them.
"Look, I'm a man…"
"You're a saiyan!" She corrected, "You're a fricken alien!"
A bad boy look slipped over Vegeta's features, "That never stopped Kakarot and Chichi did it?" Vegeta covered his mouth with his hand again and looked embarrassed,
"See! See! You're just trying to get into my pants!" Bulma bolted past Vegeta back into the bedroom and locked the door behind her, "You can stay out there and amuse yourself because you are not getting in here buddy boy!"
Vegeta lent against her door, "Look, I'm a man and you're a woman, we're alone in space with nobody else around…tension is going to build up sooner or later." Vegeta crossed his arms, "You can deny it all you want woman, but you have to come out of the room and even if you resist me princely charms at first you'll soon come around."
Vegeta shrugged when the woman didn't answer, it didn't matter what she said, sooner or later she would come around.
Not that he relished the thought of sleeping with the woman; it wasn't like he actually liked her or anything…it was just this damned heat he was going into. It was his hormones that wanted the woman, not him…just because he'd had one or two dreams about her before didn't mean anything.
Did it?
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Bulma tensely unlocked the door and crept out, Vegeta was sprawled on the one chair in the room - asleep.
She quietly tiptoed past him to the cupboard where all the entertainment videos were kept; she opened it up wincing as it squeaked. Vegeta muttered something about pink rats riding unicycles but didn't wake up, Bulma let out her breath and turned to peruse the contents of the cupboard…and screamed.
Vegeta and Bulma stared at the one video the cupboard had contained, as if willing the video to transform into something, anything else but what it was.
"What I don't understand is how it got in there." Vegeta nudged it with his hand,
Bulma picked it up and turned it over in her hands, her keen eyes taking in the horrid sight of the purple and green dinosaur and the lurid heading on the cover,
'Barney and Friends!'
"What I want to know is where all the other video's went." She sighed and took the video out of the case, "I mean…I guess this might have accidentally got in here when Chichi came to visit and we let Gohan watch a video in here while we had coffee…but that doesn't explain where all my other video's got to."
Vegeta suddenly looked up, "Why do you even keep video's in here?"
"Look 'Geta…"
"Don't call me 'Geta!"
"I spend all my time in here fixing this damned machine, I just started bringing videos with so I could at least listen to them while I worked, sometimes I'd take a break and watch one." Bulma shrugged and put the video into the VRC, "Here we go…"
"I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"
TWO DAYS LATER…
Vegeta grated his teeth as he heard the hated song start up again from the bedroom.
"I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"
The damned woman had been watching the tape almost non-stop…it was starting to get out of control, she was fixated on the tape, she just locked herself away in the room and pressed play.
Over and over again.
He couldn't take it anymore.
The dopey voice of the dinosaur, the overly happy songs, or even worse, when the woman got the part of the tape where the 'Barney' would 'teach' the children how to count the same numbers over and over again…
'One and Four make five…one and four make five…one and four make five…'
How he loathed the dinosaur.
How he longed to see the purple and green creature burn.
It would have been bearable if the creature didn't sing, but it did. It sang constantly and loudly and repetitiously so that the song remained in your head for hours afterwards.
Suddenly the tape cut off, the door opened and the woman came out of the room, a fixed smile painted on her face, "Hello Vegeta, how are you feeling?"
"Like I want to have sex." he stood up and walked towards her, wishing the blue haired woman would just let him have his way with her so things could get back to normal and he'd go off heat.
"That's nice." She blinked, "You know, Barney had a problem like yours."
"He did?" vegeta didn't remember Barney going onto heat when he watched the video with the woman the first time.
"Yes, Barney wanted a candy apple for his birthday, but he couldn't get one…"
"How is that like my problem?" Vegeta clenched his fists, great, he though, the woman's been brainwashed by a children's show.
"Well you see Vegeta, sometimes we all want things." She patted his shoulder, "You want sex, Barney wants a candy apple and I want to space myself while I'm still able. But the thing to realise is this, we can't all get what we want; Barney couldn't get his candy apple because it was bad for him and I can't kill myself because it's dangerous for my health."
"What about me?"
"What about you?" Bulma blinked again as if seeing him for the first time,
"Why can't I have sex with you? It's not like it would hurt anyone." Vegeta moved closer, wishing he still had a tail to run up the woman's leg.
"Oh but it would, you might not know it, but you'd get very hurt." Bulma nodded to herself, "You'd be in constant pain."
"What? Why?" He looked confused again.
Bulma very slowly and nastily smiled, "Because if you slept with me I'd make your life a living hell afterwards."
"Puh!" Vegeta rolled his eyes, "You don't have the power!"
"Really? I think I do." Bulma laughed and started to walk away, Softly singing; "I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"
Vegeta's eyes widened, "You wouldn't!"
Bulma cackled, "Oh Vegeta, if you even lay a hand on me then I'll put that videotape on and I'll turn the volume up so loud that you won't have a hope in hell of escaping Barney and all his friends."
"You sadistic, evil…"
"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you, you don't want to upset me now do you?" Bulma grinned when Vegeta remained silent, "That's a good saiyan, now we have to get some rules clear. Firstly I'm getting the bed each night, if I wake up and you're in there with me; Barney goes on. Secondly, if you even attempt to seduce me then guess what? Barney goes on! And lastly if you even try to put the gravity machine on again while I'm in the room…that's right! You guessed it! Barney goes on! Now any questions?"
"What about if I put the gravity machine on so high that it squashes you flat - how are you going to put Barney on then smart ass?" Vegeta arrogantly raised his head…and instant wished he hadn't.
"But Vegeta! You wouldn't hurt me would you? After all if you killed me who are you going sleep with?" Bulma's grin widened then faltered as she realised what she'd said,
"Does that mean you'll sleep with me?" Vegeta took a step closer and ran a hand up Bulma's arm, she shivered and stared into his eyes and for a second vegeta saw the same longing in her eyes that her saw in his every time he looked in the mirror, then her gates went crashing down and she pulled away.
"You tried to seduce me!" She rubbed at his arm where he'd softly touched her as if it was tingling, "I warned you what would happen!"
"Woman, no!" Vegeta pleaded as she turned around, "I'll be good! I promise!"
"Ha!" Bulma scoffed, "I think that trying to seduce me warrants you 2 hours of quality Barney and Friends time!" Bulma walked back into the bedroom and slammed the door.
"I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"
Vegeta collapsed back into the chair and felt his eyes water…he wouldn't cry; he wouldn't cry…he could take Barney! He just had to get through the next two hours…then he could make sure that he did nothing to upset the woman.
"Don't worry Vegeta, Bulma hates Barney just as much as you do, she's only doing this to torture you."
"I know I…hey who the hell are you?" Vegeta sat up and stared at the man who was in front of him.
"I'm Lucas the incredibly good looking elf."
"But…where…what…when…how did you get here?" Vegeta edged away from the gorgeous elf man,
"Oh Vegeta, I'm a delusion your mind has created in an attempted to keep you sane!" Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf laughed,
"Sane?!" Vegeta spluttered, "Go away! I am sane!"
"Whatever you say Vegeta, but just so you know! I'll be back!" Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf flashed a brilliant and perfect smile and disappeared.
Vegeta stared at the floor as the harmonious strains of Barney filtered past him, "I am sane."
A/N - There another chapter and it didn't take me all that long to write either! Please remember and if you'd like to be on my mailing list email me.